


Demoted

by Lost_And_Insane



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Blackwatch Era, Blackwatch Genji Shimada, Blackwatch Jesse McCree, Blackwatch Reaper | Gabriel Reyes, Character Development, Depression, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Omnic Racism, Rookie Zenyatta, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, This story basically shows the ultimate character development from Genji
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-03 18:02:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 23
Words: 41,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17288780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lost_And_Insane/pseuds/Lost_And_Insane
Summary: Genji has worked for Blackwatch ever since he was murdered by his own brother, being one of their highest ranking officers. However, after Genji makes a drastic mistake in an important mission, Commander Reyes decides it’s best to demote him – all the way back to Novice. While struggling to deal with his anger, feeling betrayed and useless, Genji gets assigned a new mission to show he can, in fact, follow Reyes’ orders: he is to welcome a Rookie to Blackwatch and watch over him for his first days.Regardless of Genji’s rudeness, the Rookie is determined to be kind to the cyborg. He even seems to worry for Genji’s wellbeing; it is something Genji isn’t used to, and his feelings about it contradict everything he thought he knew about himself. He doesn’t know when it happens, but the programmed omnic Rookie suddenly turns into the one person Genji can’t live without.





	1. We’re All Just Born to Descend

_“Do you remember, Altair, what it is the Assassins fight for?”_  
**_“Peace, in all things.”_**  
_“Yes. In all things. It is not enough to end the violence one man commits upon another. It refers to peace within as well. You cannot have one without the other.”_

 

The rooftop was wet and uncomfortable. Genji’s muscles – or at least what remained of them – were aching painfully, and he wanted nothing more than for something to happen already. Rain was pouring down from the dark sky, battering on Genji’s helmet with an excruciatingly loud ticking. At least the rain masked the sounds of his movements as he repositioned himself for the millionth time.

“This is ridiculous,” Genji whispered, now sitting in a half-crouch. He was still uncomfortable. “I can’t feel my legs.”

Next to him, Derek laughed, and Genji quickly shushed him.

“You’re being dramatic. We’ve only been here for an hour.”

Derek leaned over the edge of the building to scan the people below. He pressed two fingers against his temple and a small display appeared; names of the passersby shot across the screen quickly. It was no use – he wasn’t here yet. If he were, Genji would definitely know without having to run a facial scan on random civilians.

“Put that display away, it’s like a beacon.” Genji waved his hand through the holographic and the image blurred before vanishing completely.

With a sigh, Derek pushed himself up from his stomach and joined Genji in a half-crouch. “You’re certain we’re at the right location?”

“Of course I’m certain,” Genji snarled. “Who do you take me for?”

“I meant no offense.” Derek hastily raised his hands in surrender. He let out another sigh, somehow heavier than the one before, and wordlessly went back to scanning the alley below them.

The backstreet had gotten more and more abandoned as the time passed, but Genji wasn’t sure whether that was a good sign. He’d read the briefing three times over, so there was no doubt about it – they were in the right position. In fact, he could even see the door that had been described in the file; the one they were asked to investigate. But then where was he?

Patience wasn’t Genji’s strong suit. It was excruciatingly boring to wait here, in the pouring rain outside, while he should be in a so called ‘dangerous mission’. Dangerous my ass, nothing was happening – the only danger about this mission was that Genji might die from boredom if this were to go on for much longer.

“Genji, over there.”

Sharply turning his head, he looked down the end of the alleyway to see a group of 5 people, laughing and pushing each other around as they strode down the street. The man in the front of the group, however, was unmoving. There wasn’t a single hint of a smile on his face.

“That’s him,” Genji confirmed for Derek. “The one in front.”

Antonio Bartalotti. Blackwatch had been on the lookout for him for months, and now he’d finally revealed himself.

Finally, something was happening.

The group strode down the alleyway until they reached the door that Genji had spotted before. They stopped, looked around them, and then Antonio knocked once. Barely a second had passed when the door was thrown open.

A small, frail man appeared in the doorway, a scowl on his face. He looked old, and Genji was certain that the smallest gust of wind would be enough to knock him down. As he looked up at Antonio, imposing as ever, his expression twisted to one of fear.

“I-I have what you want!” he spoke hastily, stepping back into the building for a moment before reappearing with a suitcase. Genji and Derek shared a look. “Please, take it and leave me alone.”

Antonio waved his hand and one of the men behind him stepped forward, snatching the suitcase from the old man’s grip. The man flinched, but no one was paying attention to him anymore – all eyes were on the mysterious suitcase. Slowly, Antonio’s men opened the suitcase and looked inside. Up on the roof, Genji leaned forward to try to get a glance of what was inside, but it was turned away from him. Whatever it was, the men seemed very pleased, grinning at each other like morons.

Antonio abruptly snapped the suitcase shut and all the men leaped up in surprise, nearly dropping the case on the ground. “That’s enough,” he snapped.

The frail, old man almost seemed to faint when Antonio turned back to him, and he let out a sad whimper.

“I thank you for your.. compliance,” Antonio spoke, a smile on his face. “But we can’t go around having someone know about this exchange. I’m sure you understand.”

The man barely had time to register Antonio’s words when a knife was shoved into his stomach. With a last whimper, he fell to the ground.

As Antonio wiped his knife on his handkerchief, Genji scanned the men. Lightly armed, overconfident; they could go in now without any trouble. Not only would they be able to take down Antonio, but they could retrieve whatever was in that suitcase as well. Whatever it was, it had to be important for Antonio to fetch it himself.

“We should go in,” Genji whispered, sharing his thoughts with Derek. His partner startled, and gaped at Genji.

“What?” he exclaimed. “Go in? What do you mean?”

Genji rolled his eyes. “What do you think I mean? He’s in the open. Now’s our chance to strike.”

For a short moment, Derek looked like Genji was speaking in a different language entirely, but then he started shaking his head wildly.

“That’s not our orders,” he whispered angerly.

“So?”

“ _So,_ we should stick with Reyes’ plan. We should tail them, locate their base, and then retreat.”

Genji almost started laughing then, only holding back in case he could be heard from the alleyway. Reyes’ original plan sucked, and it wouldn’t accomplish anything. As soon as Antonio stepped foot behind the safe walls of his base again, he’d be untouchable, and who knew when he’d come back out. It could be months until they could strike again. By then, the weapon or part that was in that suitcase would be well in Talon’s arms.

Looking down, Genji saw that the old man’s body was gone – the men had probably ditched it in a corner somewhere. Antonio had never been one for caution. Suitcase in hand, the men started to head back.

It was now or never.

“We’re going in,” Genji said decisively. He stood up, his cramped legs protesting, and took a step forward.

Before he could jump down, however, Derek’s hand gripped his shoulder. “Genji, _think._ This is Antonio we’re talking about! We can’t just blindly jump in!” he hissed, struggling to keep his voice down.

Genji harshly shoved his hand off, glaring at him. “Yes, we can. And we will.” Derek opened his mouth to say something again, but Genji cut him off. “I’m your superior, you have no choice but to follow my orders.”

With that, Genji stepped forward off the ledge. With a soft thud, he landed on the ground behind Antonio and his men, his shuriken already sifting through the air. All three of them found their way into one of the men’s heads, and he screamed out in pain as he fell to the floor.

Startled, Antonio turned around and was in the middle of yelling out an order when Derek decided to join in. Having leaped from the roof much like Genji, he landed right on top of another one of Antonio’s men, whose head collided with the pavement with a sickening crack. Genji grinned. _Finally_ , some action.

Genji unsheathed his wakizashi and dashed forward, knocking the gun out of someone’s hand and slicing the owner’s throat in one fluid movement. From the corner of his eye, he could see Derek pull out his rifle and unload it in the last man’s face.

Antonio was the only one left standing, and the fear on his face was beautiful. He reached for a weapon of his own, but before he could reach it, Genji’s wakizashi was pressed tightly to his throat.

“Antonio Bartalotti. Or was it Giordani?” Genji spoke, the grin still on his face. He was almost sad Antonio couldn’t see it due to his visor. “We’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

With a weak laugh, Antonio slowly raised his hands. “Is that so? Well, you found me.”

While Derek finished off the guy with Genji’s shuriken still stuck in his head, Genji spotted the mysterious suitcase on the ground a little while away; it must’ve been thrown during the fight, however short it was. Antonio followed his stare and a smile appeared on his face.

“What’s in the case?” Genji asked. “What’s so important that it requires you to pick it up yourself?”

“Curious, are we?” Antonio asked mockingly. He seems to have no interest in answering, even with a blade against his throat.

Genji called out to his partner. “Derek, go check the suitcase.”

“On it.”

Genji didn’t take his eyes off of Antonio, but could see Derek hurry towards the suitcase somewhere next to them. He put down his rifle and crouched down in front of it.

Everything happened very quickly after that.

Genji nearly jumped a feet in the air when Derek started screaming. He snapped his head in his partner’s direction, and could vaguely make out Derek falling to the ground before a sharp pain coursed through him. His wakizashi slipped out of his hands, and every part of his body felt like it was on fire. He couldn’t even turn his head back to Antonio; he just crumbled and fell backwards onto the pavement.

He couldn’t move a single muscle, but his head was still turned towards Derek, who hadn’t stopped screaming, his hands covering his eyes. Blood was seeping through his fingers. Genji wanted to call out, but he found he couldn’t talk at all.

Antonio stepped over Genji’s limp body, reappearing in his sight. He had a small taser-like device clutched in his hand. “EMP device. It works like a charm against you Blackwatch lot.”

The most Genji could do was glare at him. Antonio walked over to the still screaming Derek, and with one heavy stomp on his face, silenced him.

Calmly collecting his suitcase, Antonio brushed off his suit and turned to leave. He’d taken only one step before he froze, “Oh, right!” With a few strides, he was back in front of Genji, crouching down in front of him with a wide grin on his face. “Give Gabriel my regards.”

And with that, he knocked Genji unconscious.


	2. If You Can’t Find Another Reason Not to Stay

Genji’s eyelids felt heavy the next time he attempted to open them. Actually, his entire body felt heavy, like there were weights tied to his limbs. Slowly, he managed to open his eyes, only to see.. blue?

“Good morning, Genji.”

He was looking straight into Angela’s strict eyes, and as he looked around, he realized he was in her lab. Instantly, he remembered what had happened.

“I’m alive,” he said before he could stop himself, probably mirroring Angela’s puzzled expression.

Angela took a few steps back and grabbed a tablet from her desk. “Yes, but only just.” As she walked back over to the bed Genji was lying on, she listed all the injuries, “All of your synthetics were disabled when we found you. Seeing as your synthetics are what’s keeping you alive for longer than a few hours, I was just in time to reactivate them.”

Genji tried to sit up, but Angela placed her hand on his shoulder to stop him. “You’re lucky we found you at all, you know? Your tracker had been disabled as well.”

Angela was busy typing something into her tablet, so Genji took this chance to sit up straight without being stopped. His limbs still felt slow and drowsy, and as he willed his fingers to move separately, he noticed it took a few milliseconds longer than usual for them to react.

“It’ll go back to its usual speed in a few hours, don’t worry,” Angela spoke, clearly having seen Genji’s struggle. The cyborg merely nodded and put his hands onto his lap.

The air turned tense around them, both awaiting the yet unspoken question. Genji looked up at Angela, but she was still typing away on her tablet. Whether she was just pretending to be busy, Genji didn’t know.

“Angela..” Genji eventually broke the silence. He had to ask. “What about Derek?”

There it was. Angela’s fingers froze just above the tablet, and very slowly, she lowered it. She turned away, but Genji could see her shoulders tense when she answered, “He didn’t make it.”

It stayed silent for a very long time after that. Eventually, Angela went back to typing, and she occasionally jotted something down in a notebook on her desk. Genji sank back into the pillow and blankly stared up at the ceiling. ‘ _He didn’t make it.’ ‘He didn’t make it.’ ‘He didn’t make it.’_

Everything was ruined. They’d been so close to catching Antonio once and for all, but he now knew for certain that Blackwatch was still hot on his tails, so there was no way he’d leave the safety of his base anytime soon. He was basically untouchable now. Besides, Genji had never really failed a mission before. Sure, he was known for doing things _his way_ by now, but it had always worked out without much extra trouble. For a mission to go downhill like this.. it was embarrassing.

Angela had taken a seat at her desk at some point, because when Genji eventually sat back up, she was leaning over some paperwork and her pen was scribbling softly across the paper. Genji had always been easily irked at small sounds like a pen touching paper, so he decided it was time to move himself to his bedroom instead.

As he stood up, he half expected Angela to stop him, but she barely looked up from her papers as she said, “Reyes expects you in his office to debrief.”

“Now?” Genji asked impatiently. “We usually debrief the day after the mission.”

This time, Angela did look up at him. “It _is_ the day after the mission.”

Genji gaped at her for a moment. He’d been unconscious for longer than he’d thought. “..Right.”

Without another word, Genji left Angela’s lab and, although begrudgingly, started heading towards Reyes’ office. He had no idea what time it was, his internal clock having been reset to 0:00 due to the EMP, but judging from the abandoned halls it was either very late or very early. He usually came across more people when walking through the barracks.

He reached the office way too soon for his liking; he wouldn’t have mind just strolling through the empty corridors for a moment longer to clear his head. He momentarily considered just passing Reyes’ office and going for another lap, but it would probably be best to just get this debriefing over with. He wanted nothing more than to just go hide away in his room after this embarrassing mission.

“Enter,” Reyes’ voice boomed after Genji had knocked on the door. He pushed it open to reveal Reyes sitting behind his big, oaken desk, a small lamp above it illuminating him in a way that was slightly disturbing. As the commander leaned back in his seat and allowed the light to brighten his face, however, he was back to looking like his unimpressive self. “Genji, have a seat.”

Closing the door behind him, Genji strode across the room and plopped down into one of the two chairs facing the desk. There was a vase filled with flowers on the desk, and Genji momentarily wondered who’d had the idea of gifting Reyes flowers; the mere thought of someone handing them over made Genji want to hurl. Reyes pondered Genji for a moment before heaving a sigh and weaving a hand through his short hair. Now that Genji actually looked at him, Reyes looked exhausted; there were heavy bags under his eyes, which were slightly glazed over.

“I’ll need a clear debrief,” Reyes spoke, doing an alright job at keeping the exhaustion out of his deep voice. “What exactly happened? How were you found out?”

“We weren’t found out,” Genji said instantly, not missing the surprise on Reyes’ face. “We revealed ourselves.”

For a moment, Reyes looked like he hadn’t heard Genji speak at all, but then his expression shifted into one of clear anger. “You did _what?_ ”

“We revealed ourselves,” Genji repeated dryly. It did not help still Reyes’ anger.

“Are you an absolute idiot?” Reyes snarled. “Your orders were to quietly tail Antonio, not to just jump right into his arms!”

Genji opened his mouth to defend himself, but Reyes was already yelling again.

“You never listen to any of my orders! You’re unbelievably reckless!”

Indifferent, Genji shrugged and leaned back in his chair, hoping to come across as nonchalant. “I get the job done.”

“Clearly, you don’t.” Reyes slammed his hand on the desk, and Genji startled. “Derek is _dead_ , Genji, because you refused to listen to the orders I gave you. Your decision cost someone’s life.”

Genji didn’t have any snarky remarks to make at that, so he stayed silent. Reyes heaved another deep sigh and stood up from his chair, pacing the small space behind his desk. His exhaustion was almost invisible now, replaced by his anger. Genji had preferred the former.

“Do you remember, Genji, what it is Blackwatch fights for? We eliminate threats without standing in the spotlights. We _protect_ people. We fight for peace.” Reyes had stopped pacing, now looking straight at Genji, who was getting more and more annoyed as the conversation went on. Reyes was teaching him how Blackwatch worked? Who did he think he was, a Rookie?

“What are you trying to preach me on Blackwatch basics? I’m the best member you have!” Genji was raising his voice now as well, matching Reyes. “I’m the only one getting anything done around here!”

It seems Reyes was at a loss of words. Slowly, he sat back down, pulling his chair forward so he could lean on the desk. The exhaustion was back in his expression, the anger having withered, but Genji’s own hatred was still bubbling inside, waiting for a chance to get out. As Reyes thought about something to say, Genji defiantly glared at him.

Reyes apparently really needed to think, because it was silent for a long time. There was a lot of silence today, Genji thought bitterly. He wasn’t really one for silence.

Finally, with another sigh, Reyes spoke again, “I’m sorry it’s come to this, Genji, but you’ve gone too far. I’m demoting you.”

With a scoff, Genji crossed his arms over his chest. “Whatever.” He was one of the highest ranking officers in this place, he could afford to lose a rank or two. “Is that all?”

“No, you don’t understand,” Reyes said instantly, “I’m demoting you to Novice.”

Startled, Genji looked at Reyes in shock. “Y-You’re doing what?!” He jumped up from his seat and took a step towards the desk. Novice was one of the lowest ranks possible, only one rank above Rookie. He’d been a Novice once, around 5 years ago, and it was horribly pathetic. He’d worked incredibly hard to get where he was now. Reyes couldn’t possibly take it away just like that. He was the best they’d got! They couldn’t afford to demote him!

“You must be kidding. You can’t do this!”

“In fact, I can. I am your superior and if I say you’re demoted, then there’s nothing you can do,” Reyes stated matter-of-factly. He shrugged, as if emphasizing that Genji was powerless about this decision, and calmly folded his hands on his lap.

Genji, still standing motionless in front of Reyes’ desk, was speechless. He tried to say something, anything, but only weak stutters came out. Reyes wasn’t in any hurry to urge him on, so after a couple of poor attempts, Genji found his voice again. “I-I don’t understand. I’ve done all you’ve asked of me. I’ve become the weapon you wanted, the killer Blackwatch needed! I’ve become this… this _thing_ , and you’re telling me it’s all for nothing?!”

Blinking rapidly, Genji redirected his eyes to the plain surface of the desk. Even without looking at Reyes, he knew he was shrugging again.

“It’s the price you pay for the mistakes you’ve made. You answer not only to me, but to all of Blackwatch as well.” Reyes’ voice started to sound distant, like there was a wall between them. “We fight for peace. It refers to peace within as well. You cannot fight for peace if you haven’t made peace with yourself, first.”

“Bullshit. That has _nothing_ to do with-”

Reyes wouldn’t let him talk, continuing like he hadn’t interrupted at all. “But you have not found inner peace. It manifests in ugly ways. You are arrogant and overconfident. You lack self-control and wisdom.”

Genji finally managed to look back up at Reyes, and he mustered up the best glare he had. Reyes didn’t show any kind of reaction to it.

“You will no longer be going on any missions until you can prove that you know how to follow orders. Before you do, you will not receive any promotions,” Reyes explained calmly, as if it were the most common subject. “You’ll _earn_ your way back into the high ranks of Blackwatch.”

Genji was barely listening anymore. He was overflowing with rage, and felt the great urge to leap over the desk at Reyes. He was already envisioning it, pulling out his wakizashi and forcing it through the commander’s throat, but when he heard the word “dismissed” he snapped back out of it.

While turning towards the door, Genji smashed the vase that was on Reyes’ desk before storming out of the office. Hearing Reyes swear as the flowers hit the floor was a small consolation.


	3. Don't Ask a Lot and You Won't Lose a Lot

The sounds of people chatting away in the mess hall was more infuriating than usual as Genji threw his tray onto a table and sat down. He’d grabbed the food only out of habit, but he had no appetite at all. Still fuming in anger of being mistreated by Reyes, Genji had barely slept at all last night, and he was definitely feeling the effects of the sleepless hours right now.

He felt eyes boring into him and he looked up, catching a glimpse of a group of people at the table opposite looking at him, but they quickly turned their heads. Usually, Genji would make some kind of remark, but he was way too tired to be bothered today. He opted to ignore them instead.

While Genji was mushing his food with his fork, someone sat down in front of him.

“Howdy,” McCree greeted him, his smile disappearing when Genji looked up at him. “Why the long face?”

McCree was one of the people that Genji didn’t mind. They met on a mission one day and, after finding out they weren’t that bad of a team, stuck around each other inside of the base as well. Although neither of them were one for deep, friendly conversations, just having someone to fill the silence every now and then was really all that Genji needed in a friend.

From the look on his face, it appeared McCree was still waiting on an answer, but Genji wasn’t planning to give him one. In the end, it didn’t matter, because someone else decided to answer for him.

“Oh, didn’t you hear?” Both Genji and McCree startled at Moira’s sudden appearance. She calmly sat down next to McCree. “It seems our Genji no longer outranks us.”

After getting passed the shock of Moira’s entrance, McCree’s surprise turned into shock as he turned towards Genji. “Does that mean you lost a rank? That’s tough.”

Once again, it seems Genji didn’t have to answer. He gritted his teeth as Moira laughed. “Even better. He’s back to being a _Novice.”_

Not only McCree fell into a stunned silence, but the happy chatter of the entire mass hall slowly died out. Moira hadn’t really attempted to keep her voice down. Underneath the table, Genji’s fists formed into tight fists, and he felt himself starting to tremble.

“A-Are you serious..?” McCree eventually broke the painful silence. Moira was still grinning.

“When am I not?”

The two started to bicker, which was how most of their conversations went, but Genji was no longer listening. He was hyper aware of the whispering of everyone around them, and the people pointing at him. Everyone knew, now. Somehow, Genji was lower in rank than almost all of the people here, including the two bickering idiots in front of him. Reyes made a huge mistake, and he’d come to realize that soon enough.

As if reading his mind, Reyes walked through the double doors of the mess hall at that moment and all faces finally turned away from Genji. Reyes was never in the mess hall unless it was something urgent. McCree and Moira continued to bicker, completely oblivious to the sudden tension in the air, until Reyes was standing right next to them. They finally noticed him and abruptly stopped talking altogether.

“Genji, follow me to my office, if you will,” he spoke, not waiting around for a moment longer than necessary; he’d already turned back around towards the exit of the mess hall.

 _Thank god_ , Reyes must’ve changed his mind. He’d finally realized that Blackwatch needed Genji more than any of the low ranking idiots here. Blackwatch couldn’t function without him; Reyes didn’t have another choice.

Genji hurried to follow the commander, but not before flipping Moira off.

Relieved to be away from everyone’s stares, Genji allowed himself a moment of peace on the way to the office. Everything was fine. He’d get his rank back, and then he’d make sure everyone knew about it. His reputation wasn’t hurt too much just yet – he could still salvage this.

When the two reached Reyes’ office, they sat down in the same position as the previous day, only Genji was feeling more confident this time. The only thing missing from Reyes’ desk was the vase with flowers; it was otherwise filled with the same papers and files. Genji wondered if Reyes was still mad about the flowers.

“I have a mission for you,” Reyes said. Genji was mildly surprised, but tried not to let it show.

“What happened to ‘no more missions’?” Genji asked, not quite able to hide his smugness as successfully as his surprise. Reyes only frowned.

“You are to welcome a new member of Blackwatch,” Reyes explained, ignoring Genji’s remark completely. “I want you to introduce him to everyone, and to make sure he’s comfortable.”

Genji’s grin melted off his face abruptly. “You’re making me _babysit_ a Rookie?!” Could his career sink any lower..?

“You bet I am. It’s a perfect mission for you to show me that you _can,_ in fact, follow orders.” Reyes seemed way too smug about this, and Genji didn’t like being on the receiving end of it. He suddenly realized how annoying his constant arrogance must be for others.

“You’re kidding, right?” Genji asked, although from the satisfaction in Reyes’ expression he knew that he was completely serious. “I’m the best you have! How can you just give me an unimportant mission like this?!”

“You _were_ the best, before you decided to act selfishly and make your own orders.”

Those words hit Genji harder than he’d ever admit. He _was_ the best, but not anymore. Now he was back to being an unimportant Novice. After all Genji had done, everything he had sacrificed for Blackwatch, _this_ was his reward.

He wanted his anger to return, but all he felt was emptiness. What was he supposed to do now? Blackwatch was all he had, but now he’d lost all of his ranks and his reputation was destroyed. He was left with nothing.

“The Rookie will arrive at noon tomorrow,” Reyes said. His voice was a lot softer all of a sudden, and Genji loathed it. “I expect you to behave. Dismissed.”

Genji blackly stared up at the commander for a moment longer, and then turned away. He didn’t bother to storm out of the office this time around, too tired to throw a fit, and instead calmly left.

When he opened the door, he came face to face with Moira and McCree. Both looked a bit startled, like they hadn’t expected him to come out, but they had no doubt been eavesdropping. Genji expects that’s how Moira knew of his demotion, too.

Without saying a word, Genji pushed past both of them. The rest of the day was spent locked away in his room.


	4. Your Smiles Are Giving Me All Types of Treble

The following morning, Genji begrudgingly climbed out of his bed and made his way to the barrack’s entrance. Although he was still annoyed for being assigned such a useless mission, he couldn’t help but feel curious. Who could this newcomer be? They hadn’t gotten a new member in ages, the last significant addition to the team having been Genji himself, so it was refreshing to finally get a new face in here. Genji just wished he hadn’t been the one having to welcome them.

It was exactly 1200 hours when Genji reached the entrance, but it seemed the newcomer hadn’t arrived yet; Reyes would no doubt have told them to wait here for Genji. This allowed for more time to ponder. The Rookie would no doubt have some sort of tragic backstory, like everyone in here (Blackwatch was like a family of rejects, after all), and Genji was already imagining all kind of things. Another cowboy reject? Or an experimentation freak? Or someone more like Genji himself, a warrior joining Blackwatch in a search for blood?

Footsteps snapped Genji out of his thoughts, and when he looked up to the entrance from his position against the opposite wall, it opened slowly and someone stepped inside. It looked around in wonder for a brief moment before turning its head towards Genji, the blue lights on its head flickering. Instantly, Genji’s stomach sank. The newcomer was an _omnic?_

“ _You’re_ the rookie?” Genji asked, although he was already certain of the answer. He pushed himself off the wall and looked the machine up and down. It looked.. odd. Genji had never seen an omnic that looked quite like him, with 9 lights on its head instead of the usual 3 or 4. It was an omnic, yet it still wore baggy pants and beaded jewelry like a human would. That fact alone disturbed Genji.

“I’m Zenyatta. It’s nice to meet you,” it spoke, it’s voice annoyingly calm. From first sight, it seemed ‘Zenyatta’ was the exact opposite of Genji.

Genji glared at the newcomer, making sure it noticed Genji’s hatred towards him. “I need to fucking babysit an _omnic_?”

Zenyatta tilted its head and actually laughed. It seems it wasn’t offended. “It appears so.”

Staring at it for a moment longer, Genji scoffed and started down the hall, mentioning shortly for Zenyatta to follow him. He didn’t look behind him, but could hear the omnic’s footsteps just behind him, so he knew it’d listened.

“Did Reyes assign you to a room?” Genji asked, not sure whether omnics actually needed personal quarters at all. Did they need rest? Or would they just need to plug into a power outlet?

Genji almost forgot to listen to an answer, and only just heard Zenyatta tell him a room number. Genji grimaced when he realized it was basically next to Genji’s own quarters, but he decided to keep that information to himself, walking on in a slightly faster pace.

When they reached Zenyatta’s new room, Genji casted his own quarters a longing look before turning around to face the omnic. “This is yours.” Oh, how much nicer it would be if he could just lock himself in his room for another day. He didn’t want to be stuck with this omnic.

Zenyatta apparently didn’t want to have a look around, because it simply gave Genji a nod in acknowledgement and waited for him to continue the ‘tour’. Genji was thankful for that, at least; the sooner this tour was over, the better.

The next location was the training room, in which Genji was certain the omnic would be spending a lot of time from now on. Genji’s own Rookie days had been filled with practice and evaluations. Back then, every training session had felt like a test, and he’d hated it. He wondered if, now that he was a Novice again, he’d have to suffer through that again. Just thinking about it made him want to punch something.

Now that the omnic knew where it would have to spent most of its time, Genji found it fitting to show it Angela’s lab next. Judging from the omnic’s frail form, it would spend a lot of time there, too.

“Hey, what brings you here?” Angela asked when he entered, perking up when she noticed Zenyatta behind him. “Ah, you must be Zenyatta! My name is Angela Ziegler, it’s very nice to meet you.”

“Greetings, Angela.” Zenyatta allowed Angela to enthusiastically shake its hand. Genji personally thought she was being way too eager about meeting a Rookie.

She smiled widely. “I’m so glad we finally have another healer.” Ah, a healer, then? Interesting. “I mean, we have Moira, but she’s a little..”

“Insane?” Genji added, to which she laughed.

“A little.”

When Genji laughed as well, he noticed Zenyatta give him what he assumed was a curious glance; it was difficult to read the expressions of faceless omnics. However, a tilted head usually meant confusion or curiosity, right? In any case, Genji returned it with a glare, and said, “We should move on.”

With a friendly bow to Angela, Genji left her lab, the omnic right at his feet. Genji half expected it to ask him about his sudden change of demeanor around Angela, but thankfully, it kept quiet. He didn’t want to talk to it more than necessary.

Next up, Genji showed him the way to Reyes’ office. Mentally, Genji was praying Reyes wasn’t in right now, but right as Genji pointed out the door the commander stepped outside. Genji groaned internally.

“Zenyatta. It is a pleasure to finally meet you,” Reyes spoke, nodding at the omnic. “I hope you are comfortable so far.”

The omnic nodded as well. “I am. The tour is most enlightening.”

Reyes casted a glance at Genji, his expression shifting to suspicion for just long enough for Genji to catch it. He felt his anger flare again. “I hope you two are getting along?”

“Certainly. He is very patient in showing me around.”

Genji was definitely surprised at this response, but tried not to let it show. He’d been nothing but rude to the omnic, yet it didn’t let the commander know?

Reyes turned to Genji, clearly wanting him to add something in this conversation as well, “Have you almost finished showing him around?”

 _Him?_ Did omnics even have genders? Whatever, it didn’t matter.

Genji just gave Reyes a brief nod, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of talking at all. He was still beyond angry at him for forcing him through this babysit mission.

Once Reyes went on his way, Genji decided he’d had enough of this tour for now, so he started walking back towards Zen’s newly appointed quarters. He didn’t want to risk running into Moira or McCree at the mess hall, so he avoided that room widely for now. This time, Zenyatta did speak up.

“I can sense your anger. Has Commander Reyes done something to annoy you?” he asked. What? He could _sense_ it? What was that hippy bullshit?

“It’s none of your business, _omnic_ ,” Genji snarled. He didn’t speak up again the rest of the way.

Genji actually felt relieved when they reached Zenyatta’s room, and he nonchalantly gestured towards it. “You’ve seen most important stuff, so we’ll continue tomorrow or something. Make sure to go to Reyes’ office at 0800 hours for an introduction talk. It’s standard procedure.”

“I see. Would you mind accompanying me there? I get lost easily,” Zenyatta said, letting out a chuckle. It sounded so fake coming from an omnic.

With a scoff, Genji said, “No way.”

Genji wanted to turn around and leave, but Zenyatta was staring at him so intensely that Genji would feel weird to just walk away. Besides, he didn’t want the omnic to know that their rooms were so close together.

“Alright, fine,” Genji gave in, just to make him stop staring. It was weird.

When he felt confident that Zenyatta would retreat to his room, Genji turned away and started down the hallway towards his own quarters. Before he could take more than two steps, the omnic stopped him.

“I never got your name.”

Genji turned back around. A big part of him wanted to tell him to fuck off; that it wasn’t his business. Another, smaller part, however, felt compelled to tell him. There was something odd about this omnic. Genji had been so aggressive towards him all day, yet the omnic didn’t seem deterred by his hostility. It was.. different.

“…It’s Genji.”

Zenyatta bowed. “Thank you for showing me around, Genji. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow.”

With that, Zenyatta finally entered his room, leaving Genji standing in the hall in complete confusion.


	5. We’re Just Bored You’re Still Alive

Genji had already been awake for a couple of hours when he left his room a little before 8 am, shuffling down the hall towards Zenyatta’s room. He’d once again barely slept, instead having gone out to train in the middle of the night, so he was feeling drowsy and irritated as he knocked on the omnic’s door. Shorty after, Zenyatta appeared, and he was.. floating?

His legs were folded neatly in a lotus position underneath him, and nine weird orbs were hovering around his neck, circling him slowly. Confusion didn’t properly describe what Genji was feeling right now. He’d never seen an omnic float before.

“How are you.. floating?” Genji asked, his surprise showing in his voice.

“I was able to meditate last night.” Zenyatta said in a way of response. Genji waited for him to elaborate, but he didn’t, instead just tilting his head.

“You know, forget I asked.”

The two walked towards Reyes’ office. It was weird not to hear Zenyatta’s footsteps next to him, but the machinery inside him still whirred softly so at least he wasn’t completely silent – that would’ve been unsettling.

When they reached Reyes’ office at exactly 0800 hours, Genji mentioned to the door, “In you go. I would go with you, but I don’t want to.”

Apparently, Zenyatta found that funny, because he laughed before knocking on the door. Reyes’ muffled voice came from behind the door and Zenyatta entered the office.

Genji momentarily considered eavesdropping the conversation to check if they’d talk about him (he was still suspicious of how Zenyatta hadn’t mentioned Genji’s rudeness to Reyes at all), but he was instantly disgusted at himself for thinking it. He refused to sink to Moira and McCree’s level.

As if knowing that he crossed Genji’s mind, McCree appeared from around the corner. “Howdy, Genji.”

“McCree.” Genji gave a nod, only a little stiffer than usual. He wondered how McCree would treat him now that he suddenly outranked Genji. Ever since they’d met, Genji had had the higher rank. Having the roles reversed like this was upsetting.

“Have ya heard about the fight between Angela and Moira this morning?” he asked, a grin appearing on his face. “Angela really kicked her into the ground! I’m sure she’s still fuming about it!”

It was like a weight was lifted off Genji’s shoulder. McCree still talked to him like he usually would. Instantly, Genji felt ashamed for even thinking that McCree would act all superior now, and he mentally thanked the reject cowboy for being his friend.

“Of course Angela stomped her. She can be harsher than she looks.” Genji chuckled.

“Still, it was fun to watch. Can’t wait to rub it in Moira’s face at lunch.”

Genji rolled his eyes at McCree’s excitement. “Don’t start bickering again, please.”

“It’s the way our friendship works.” McCree patted Genji on the shoulder, faking sympathy. “You’re just gonna have to deal with it.”

The door to Reyes’ office opened, and Zenyatta reappeared, still floating in that weird way. McCree fell quiet for a moment before his eyes widened in realization.

“Ah, you must be the Rookie!” he exclaimed, holding out his hand. Zenyatta shook it without hesitation. “The name’s McCree.”

“Greetings, McCree. I’m Zenyatta,” the omnic said. Genji felt annoyed that they were being so friendly, and was reminded of Angela’s kindness yesterday. Was he really the only one here who disliked the fact that the Rookie was on omnic?

McCree grinned. “You’re floating. That’s mighty impressive.”

“Thank you,” Zenyatta said, sounding genuinely thankful. Genji was annoyed by that, too.

The three stood there in silence for a moment, McCree glancing between Zenyatta and Genji, and then seemed to snap out of it.

“Well, I’m starving,” he told Genji, patting his shoulder again. “Let’s get some breakfast.”

Genji simply nodded in agreement, and Zenyatta visibly perked up. “Ah, indeed. Lead the way.”

Both McCree and Genji were equally confused. Omnics didn’t.. eat, did they? Why would Zenyatta want to join them to breakfast, then?

“You’re an omnic,” Genji stated curtly. Zenyatta tilted his head again.

“Correct.”

“You don’t eat,” Genji clarified when Zenyatta apparently didn’t get his point.

“Correct.”

McCree and Genji shared a look, and with a scoff, Genji decided he couldn’t be bothered. He turned around abruptly and started making his way towards the mess hall. If the omnic wanted to join them, let him be. Genji officially needed to show him the mess hall anyway, because he hadn’t finished his ‘tour’ yesterday.

When they walked into the mess hall, Genji quickly scanned the tables and noticed Moira wasn’t around. Good. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with her, nor with McCree’s bickering every time the two spoke. He did notice, however, that although it wasn’t very busy, people still turned to gape at Genji as he entered. He did his best to ignore them, but still felt his anger flare up again.

Genji could feel Zenyatta staring him down behind him, so he turned his eyes to the floor and kept walking towards the kitchen, where he grabbed a tray and threw some random food on it. McCree took a bit longer to choose his meal, but eventually, the three headed to a table and plopped down at it, Zenyatta just sitting at the table without any food.

Today, Genji actually had an appetite, so he removed the lower part of his visor and started shoving food in his mouth. Perhaps randomly picking food hadn’t been the best idea, because whatever mix he was eating right now, it tasted like trash.

“So, Zenyatta, what brings you to Blackwatch?” McCree asked, filling the silence with some friendly banter. His food actually looked edible, and Genji stared at it hungrily.

“Reyes recruited me,” he said, like that wasn’t already obvious. “I am originally a member of the Shambali.”

Genji looked up at him of the mention of the Shambali. He’d heard of them a couple of times; a group of omnics who believed themselves to have a soul and freewill. It was absolutely ridiculous, like omnics hadn’t all been programmed in a certain way, and somehow, knowing that Zenyatta was a member of them made Genji dislike him more. Omnics with gender, own thoughts and even a soul? What’s next, omnics claiming to be human altogether?

Keeping his eyes on his mushy excuse for food, Genji pretended not to listen to the rest of their banter, but he could see Zenyatta giving him amused glances every now and then, like he knew he was secretly listening intently. It made Genji uncomfortable.

Once again, Moira’s entrance was entirely overdramatic, appearing as if out of nowhere with a big, fake yawn. “I. Am. Exhausted.”

She sat down next to McCree, and waited for someone to ask her a follow-up question. When that obviously didn’t happen, she continued by herself.

“My experiments take so much of my attention,” she said, letting out a deep sigh. “It isn’t easy being me.”

Everyone was still knowingly ignoring her, but she didn’t seem to mind at all, leaning over the table to smile at Genji. “Ah, my favorite Novice! How’s babysitting?”

Rather than answering, Genji just gave her a nasty glare. Moira only grinned broader.

“You know, it’s rude not to answer to your superior.”

Oh, how badly Genji wanted to punch that grin off her face. McCree huffed and muttered, “Leave it alone, Moira.” Genji felt very thankful to his friend when Moira did, in fact, leave it alone, turning to look at Zenyatta for the first time.

Moira bowed gracefully, or as much as she could while already being seated, and her grin was still plastered to her face when she introduced herself, “You must be the Rookie. The name is Moira O'Deorain, it’s a pleasure.”

Zenyatta started to mirror her introduction, but Moira was already talking again, “I assume your chaperon has been most helpful? He’s never had to look after a Rookie before, you know?”

“Moira..” Genji warned in a low growl. Moira didn’t even glance at him, her narrowed eyes staying on Zenyatta. Genji’s food lay abandoned in front of him, his fork clutched harshly in his hand.

“Oh? I was not aware.” Zenyatta said simply in an attempt of keeping the conversation friendly.

Moira hummed, faking compassion with her voice. “Our dear Genji here made a mistake on his last mission, and managed to-“ “ENOUGH.”

Genji slammed the table, startling everyone around him. The fork that he’d clutched in his hand was now snapped in half. He was hyperaware of all the eyes on him as he snatched his visor off the table and stood up, storming out of the mess hall angerly.

While heading down the halls, he carefully replaces his visor. He expected to be left alone after exploding like that, but the soft whirring behind him proved him wrong.

“Why are you following me?” Genji asked without turning around.

“I wanted to make sure you’re alright,” comes Zenyatta’s calm answer. Genji hadn’t expected that, so he faltered, slowing down and eventually stopping altogether. He finally turned around to face the omnic.

“You- What?”

Zenyatta’s hands are folded neatly on his lap, fingers intertwined. He looked very composed and, Genji thinks, he probably looked the exact opposite.

“You seemed quite troubled when you left the table,” he said, still in such a calm way that it droned into Genji’s brain. He’d never met someone who sounded so tranquil all the time.

Genji scoffed and folded his arms across his chest. “I’m not _troubled._ ”

Zenyatta hummed, a useless sound for an omnic to make, and didn’t seem convinced. “It seems you and Moira don’t get along too well,” he said.

“Yeah, we don’t really see eye to eye,” Genji said dryly.

“Why is that?”

Genji raised his eyebrows. “Have you heard her talk at all?”

Zenyatta laughed at that and Genji felt slightly proud.

“I might understand what you mean,” the omnic said, still laughing softly. Genji smiled, and realized he felt surprisingly comfortable talking with Zenyatta on his own, without the staring and bickering of the people around him.

“What’s your first impression of this place?” Genji asked, not wanting the conversation to end just yet.

“Everyone has been friendly to me,” Zenyatta said, the lights on his faceplate burning brighter. “I think it will be nice to work together.”

A sudden realization settled within Genji, and just like that, the comfortable air that had surrounded him vanished. He’d never met someone as friendly as Zenyatta, as warmhearted and caring, but here he was, joining Blackwatch like any other fucked up reject who just wanted a purpose. Someone like Zenyatta didn’t belong here.

“You have something on your mind,” Zenyatta spoke up after a moment. Genji’s gaze had been focused on the floor without him realizing it.

Genji thought of denying it at first, and lashing out at the omnic for trying to read his emotions, but he realized he wanted to know. He wanted Zenyatta to explain why he’d joined Blackwatch.

“It’s just that..” Genji started. “You don’t seem one for violence.”

Zenyatta hummed quietly. “I suppose I’m not.”

“You suppose?” Genji asked, raising an eyebrow. Zenyatta tilted his head again, like he did very often, apparently.

“I do not mind violence if it is the only way to achieve peace. Blackwatch fights for peace, does it not?” he asked.

Genji was instantly reminded of Reyes’ words, echoing through his head like he was right next to him. _We fight for peace. You cannot fight for peace if you haven’t made peace with yourself, first._

“Bullshit,” Genji muttered before he could stop himself, his anger coming back once again. Blackwatch? Fighting for peace? Blackwatch was just a place for fucked up people who wanted to kill; to feel powerful at this one thing in life because everything else had been taken from them long ago. There was no fighting for peace, only fighting for power and self-worth. It’s all that mattered to anyone in here. If Zenyatta thought he could be the one making a difference, he was mistaken.

Zenyatta gave him a curious glance, the blue lights on his faceplate flickering a little as he processed Genji’s words, but Genji felt like he’d had enough socializing for one day. With a shake of his head, he turned around to head to his quarters again. Zenyatta didn’t follow.


	6. This Place Let You Down Easy

The white walls and lights in Angela’s lab had always managed to make Genji uncomfortable. It was so bright in here and – added with the constant smell of anaesthetics weaving through the air – it was a certain source of a headache every time. Still, this lab was one of the only places in which Genji liked to spend time. As long as Angela was here as well, at least.

She was right next to Genji now, gingerly taking off some armor that protected his right arm. He’d approached her to ask if she could take a look at it, as it’s been getting more difficult to move while training. Not that it mattered. He didn’t go on any missions anymore, after all.

“Thank you for taking a look at my arm,” Genji told Angela, not wanting to dwell on the ‘no missions’ subject in his brain.

“Of course, Genji,” Angela responded with a smile. “You are still my top priority patient, after all.”

She’s said it with a jesting tone, but Genji still felt tense at her words. Sometimes, he wondered if he’d ever been more to Angela than her ‘top priority patient’.

Angela had put aside all removable parts of Genji’s armor, and was now poking around at the wires. His arm was still partially human underneath all that armor, at least up until a little below his elbow, but Angela made sure to only reveal his mechanical lower arm; she knew Genji was easily triggered by seeing his own burned skin. Genji quickly wiped the image out of his mind and mentally thanked Angela.

Genji heard the door to the lab open, but was sitting with his back towards it and couldn’t turn his head enough to see who’d entered. Angela looked up from Genji’s arm and her smile grew larger.

“Ah, Zenyatta. Thank you for coming so soon,” she said kindly. Genji’s shoulders went tense, but she didn’t appear to have noticed. “If you could wait for one moment, I’ll be done in a minute.”

Zenyatta finally appeared in Genji’s line of sight. “Not at all, Dr. Ziegler. Please take your time.”

With a glance at Genji, who was avoiding his gaze, Zenyatta walked – or hovered – around the lab, curiously looking at some of Angela’s instruments. Once he was in the very corner of the lab, Genji whispered, “Why is he here..?”

Angela gave him a confused look, but answered anyway.

“I asked him to come for a medical check. Besides, I want to find out how good his healing is,” she explained, not bothering to keep her voice down like Genji had. It didn’t seem like Zenyatta was listening either way. “Info like that is good to have before a potential first mission.”

Angela reached for a small tool that was on a tray next to her and carefully used it to move around some of the wires in Genji’s prosthetic. Apart from an odd feeling of discomfort, it wasn’t hurting Genji, but he was getting tired of holding up his arm the whole time.

As if sensing his mental complains, Angela replaced his armor right then and let go of his arm, putting the tool back on the tray. “How about now?”

Genji moved his arm around, clenching and unclenching his fist, but it still felt wrong; like there was something pulling at his muscles. He shook his head and sighed. “It still feels stiff.”

“Are you sure it’s not something psychological?” Angela asked.

Genji fell quiet for a short moment, looking down at his arm. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d gone to Angela over a psychological pain, so it was definitely a possibility; even after years of having this body, it still felt misplaced, like he didn’t belong. The phantom pain would leave eventually, Angela had assured him.

“No..” Genji said softly, dropping his arm at his side. He looked up just in time to see Angela’s expression change into one of sympathy. He took a few steps back to give Genji space to get off the medical bed.

Zenyatta suddenly walked – _floated_ – back towards them. “Could I have a look?”

Genji frowned and looked over at Angela, who had already stepped aside to give Zenyatta space. Hesitantly, Genji sat back down, his eyes still focused on Angela. She simply smiled at him and walked over to her desk to organize some paperwork. Genji knew she was actually paying close attention to them, though.

When Genji finally looked at Zenyatta, he noticed he’d extended his hand, patiently waiting for Genji to offer his arm. Slowly, he placed it in the omnic’s outstretched hand.

Genji never really allowed anyone but Angela to touch him, and that was purely for medical examinations. He felt extremely tense while Zenyatta softly moved his arm around, moving the separate joints of his wrist, elbow and fingers. He knew his discomfort was glaringly obvious, but Zenyatta decided to ignore it.

“I see.” With a small hum, Zenyatta let go of Genji’s arm again. “There’s nothing wrong with the wiring.”

“So it _is_ psychological?” Genji asked. Some of the tension left his shoulders now that Zenyatta had taken a step away from him again.

“No, not at all. It seems your arm is not fully artificial,” Zenyatta said.

Genji stared up at him for a moment. How could he possibly know that without having removed his armor?

“Uh, yeah, I guess that’s right,” Genji said carefully. Zenyatta nodded knowingly, his hands once again folded neatly in his lap. Angela was now plainly staring at him, too, instead of pretending to be busy clearing out her desk.

“It isn’t your prosthetic that is causing you discomfort,” Zenyatta explained. “It seems you’ve simply strained a muscle.”

What? Genji gaped blankly at Zenyatta. A strained muscle? Was that even possible with an artificial body like his? But now that Genji thought about it, it did feel like a strained muscle. He remembered feeling the same thing when he was younger, still human, and he’d just finished training with..

Genji felt his chest tighten and he blinked rapidly, forcing the memory out of his head. Yes, a strained muscle was exactly what it was.

An unfamiliar noise caught Genji’s attention and he looked up, seeing Zenyatta had grabbed one of the floating orbs and was clutching it in his hands. A low, mesmerizing hum emitted from it as it started glowing a beautiful golden. Zenyatta carefully let go of it again and when he did, it slowly floated over towards Genji.

When the orb halted somewhere directly above his right shoulder, Genji was overwhelmed by the feeling. It felt like he’d just been pushed underneath a warm shower. Genji couldn’t quite suppress a shiver, and Zenyatta chuckled.

“Oh, you use those orbs to heal, correct?” Angela asked, walking back over to them with her tablet in hand. “How do they work?”

“I am connected to the Iris. My ability to heal others could be seen as a gift,” he said, his voice certain. Genji mentally noted that that wasn’t an answer at all, but he didn’t particularly care. He had a magical dragon (one that hadn’t awakened since he ‘died’, but Genji knew she was still resting within him), so he wasn’t one to question these things.

Angela didn’t really seem to care, either. She hadn’t even bothered to write anything down in her tablet, even though she’d said Zenyatta was here for testing; perhaps she was too mystified by the orbs to remember. Genji could understand, as he, too, kept stealing glances at the orb hovering above him, seemingly connected to him by the golden light. It still felt as if Genji was being cuddled by a fluffy blanket of warmth. He felt calm and.. safe. It was weirdly nice in a way, and the fact that he enjoyed the sensation made Genji feel as if he’d been caught doing something wrong.

He carefully moved his arm around and already it felt much better. The straining pain he’d felt this morning had been reduced to a mere discomfort. Both Angela and Zenyatta were staring at him, seemingly expecting him to say or do something, and Genji felt his face flush.

“I, uh.. need to go,” he said weakly, pushing himself up from the bed and taking a couple of steps to put more distance between him and Zenyatta.

“You may keep the harmony orb until your arm is fully healed,” Zenyatta offered, but Genji instantly shook his head. He pushed the harmony orb away, growing tense once again as the effects of the orb stopped, the golden light weakening until it was gone completely. The familiar sadness in his chest returned, but Genji ignored it.

“I don’t need it,” he said, turning and leaving the lab.


	7. It Hurts, But I Understand

Maybe he _did_ need it.

Genji’s arm had only gotten worse since he left Angela’s lab. It felt like a constant straining, and it was starting to hurt. He found himself alone in the training room late at night, like he’d find himself very often now that he was no longer required on missions, practicing his movements on a stupid training dummy. At least training made it feel like he wasn’t quite useless, rather than just sitting around in his room all day except for the few times he was in the mess hall to eat something. (He tried not to think about never letting that training come into use).

He couldn’t help but mutter a few swearwords when he realized that he’d have to stop training. His arm was hurting too much, and he could barely move it anymore without physically wincing in pain, let alone trying to throw his shuriken with it.

Reluctantly, he left the training room and started heading down the abandoned corridors, his light footsteps echoing through the barracks. He checked the time; 3 am. Everyone else was already asleep because there was an important mission tomorrow. One Genji wasn’t a part of.

It was the first main mission in three years that he wouldn’t join.

Genji considered turning right back around to train more. Screw the pain in his arm – at least it helped get his mind off the whole demotion thing.

He didn’t actually turn around, though, because at this point his arm was throbbing in pain, the adrenaline of training having worn off. With each step, the pain coursed through it, so he slowly lifted his arm and cradled it like some pathetic newbie. It was like his first days in Blackwatch all over again. He hated it.

“Genji, you’re awake at this time?”

Genji startled and let go of his arm instantly, wincing as it dropped limply at his side again. He hadn’t heard Zenyatta approach at all although, even if the omnic floated, he did still make a whirring noise, so Genji should’ve sensed him.

Zenyatta had tilted his head, but didn’t say anything, which made Genji hope he hadn’t noticed he was in pain.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Genji said, deciding to switch the question onto him. “Don’t you have your first official training tomorrow?”

Zenyatta nodded. “I do, indeed. I’ve already recharged and was looking for a different place to meditate tonight.”

 _Of course_ he meditated; that didn’t surprise Genji at all, yet he was still annoyed by it. Meditating was such an odd thing for an omnic to do. Couldn’t they just.. turn themselves off? Wouldn’t that count as ‘clearing your mind’ or whatever?

“Now that I’ve answered your question, isn’t it fair that you answer mine in return?” Zenyatta asked, Genji wondered how an omnic could make his voice sound amused, even if they didn’t have real emotions.

Genji pointed in the direction of the training room. He was smart enough to use his uninjured arm. “I was training.”

“In the middle of the night?”

Genji just nodded.

“Is there not a mission in the early morning?” Zenyatta asked. Genji cringed visibly.

“I’m not going,” he said bitterly, his mood turning sour. Why did Zenyatta have to mention the damn mission? He was doing a great job ignoring it so far.

Zenyatta was clearly surprised,  or at least, it looked like he was. His lights started flickering again, and Genji had noticed it was mostly a sign of confusion or wonder.

“You aren’t?” he asked, the surprise showing in his voice, as well. “McCree told me you were the best in Blackwatch.”

Genji scoffed, glaring at the omnic. “Yeah, _were_.” He’d really preferred if he could stop asking questions. Zenyatta was getting on his nerves.

Zenyatta was quiet for a while, and Genji was just starting to hope he’d drop the subject when he spoke again. “Does it have anything to do with what Miss O'Deorain was talking about in the mess hall?”

“It’s none of your fucking business,” Genji stated clearly. What, did the omnic suddenly think they were best buds after having had like two alright conversations?

Normally, people would leave him alone after realizing he wasn’t in any mood to talk, but Zenyatta had proven to be quite persistent. He barely seemed fazed by Genji’s anger, instead just letting out a calm, understanding hum and switching topics.

“You shouldn’t train if your arm is still injured,” he said, genuinely sounding worried. It threw Genji off guard for only a second before he regained his composure.

“It’s fine,” he said curtly.

“You and I both know that’s a lie,” Zenyatta said, and this time, his words _did_ throw Genji off guard. He gaped at him stupidly. “I would appreciate it if you could let me heal it.”

Genji was speechless. Zenyatta just waited patiently for him to find his voice, his head tilted ever so slightly.

“Uh, why?” was all Genji could come up with. He felt stupid, and his face flushed.

Zenyatta either didn’t notice, or didn’t care. “An injured arm can’t be very comfortable,” he said simply.

He hated to admit it, but that harmony orb had made Genji feel more relaxed than he’d felt ever since he joined Blackwatch. Secretly, he really craved that feeling, and he hadn’t stopped thinking about it since he left the lab this morning. Besides, it wasn’t like he couldn’t use a bit of that feeling again right now, with the prospect of the mission in the morning.

“Fine,” he said quickly, almost hoping Zenyatta wouldn’t hear it. He did, of course, and he grabbed one of the orbs from the air and did the same thing as this morning, clutching it until it glowed golden. When it once again took its place above Genji’s shoulder, he momentarily closed his eyes at the feeling.

“It will take a while to heal fully, now that you’ve overworked it,” Zenyatta said. Genji felt a bit embarrassed. “I suggest we go back to my room so that we can give it the time it needs.”

“Weren’t you going to meditate somewhere?” Genji asked quietly. Now that the harmony orb was on him again, he didn’t feel as angry anymore, and instead just felt tired.

“Exploring will have to wait. I can meditate in my room,” said Zenyatta. He didn’t sound disappointed about it, so Genji didn’t feel too guilty for messing up the omnic’s plans.

Together, they walked back towards Zen’s room. Genji didn’t have to cradle his arm while he walked anymore, which was a relief; it was now just a numb throbbing, with was still annoying but less unbearable. They didn’t speak the entire way back, but Genji preferred it that way. He wouldn’t know what to say.

Zenyatta entered his room first, Genji following close behind and softly shutting the door behind them. The room was still the absolute bare minimum of the barrack’s quarters, unlike Genji’s, who’d done his best to make it look less like a military cell and more like an actual bedroom. Not that it truly mattered much, but Genji was easily bored just staring at bare walls. He liked to have a distraction to look at, like posters or mission files stuck onto the walls. Anything better than the plain white.

With a simply hand gesture, Zenyatta told Genji to take a seat on his bed, which looked unused. It was probably because omnics didn’t require sleep, so they had no use for a bed if they could just recharge in a corner somewhere. Genji wondered why Reyes had put him in an actual room when surely a storage room would have done the job?

Zenyatta sat down on the ground opposite the bed, just hovering downwards until he hit the floor. He placed both his hands on his knees, taking a meditative position, and his orbs slowly dropped closer to the ground as well. They circled Zenyatta, taking turns in pinging a soft tune.

Genji plopped himself onto the bed, leaning with his back against the wall. He heaved a quiet sigh and shut his eyes, suddenly realizing how tired he truly was.

The pinging of Zenyatta’s orbs was annoying, the high pitched sound ringing in Genji’s ears, but the very moment he opened his mouth to say something about it, the sounds stopped. Confused, Genji opened his eyes to look at Zenyatta, but the omnic was still meditating in the same position. The only difference was that the orbs were no longer making sounds, just circling him quietly. Weird.

Closing his eyes once again, Genji focused on the warmth of the harmony orb, and the safety he felt for the first time in so long. He wasn’t anxious; he wasn’t angry; he wasn’t sad. He was just.. there. And alive. And for once he didn’t feel like he didn’t want to be.

Genji hadn’t fallen asleep so quickly in years.


	8. I Can't Swim, Don't Rub It In

The next time Genji opened his eyes, he was still in the same position against the wall, but Zenyatta was no  longer seated on the floor across from him. After a quick scan of the room, he realized he was alone.

With a yawn, Genji checked the time. 9 am. That would explain why Zenyatta had left already; he had his first official training right now. He wondered why he’d decided to just let Genji sleep.

The harmony orb that had been floating above him was now gone, though, clearly taken along by Zenyatta when he left. Genji moved his arm around and noticed it was fully healed again, not even feeling mild discomfort as he used it. Healing a strained (maybe even torn) muscle overnight was impressive, let alone doing it using such a small orb. Zenyatta was a skilled healer.

Quickly, Genji jumped up from the bed and headed out of the room. He didn’t feel like going anywhere near the mess hall, where low ranked people would be able to tell quite easily that he’d been left behind on the current mission. Usually, he’d hide out in Angela’s lab, but she had gone out on the mission as well, so that wasn’t an option. Instead, he quite easily decided to go to the training room to watch Zenyatta’s practice. He couldn’t deny his curiosity. He’d proven to be a great healer, but how would someone like Zenyatta fight?

It wasn’t often that Genji found himself in the spectator area of the training room. He was usually the one being watched while he fought, but now, he would finally feel what it was like on this side of things.

Reyes was already stood in front of the one-way glass, looking down upon the Rookie’s fighting. Wordlessly, Genji joined him, and quickly spotted Zenyatta sparring with a Blackwatch member he didn’t recognize. While the unknown member used small knives in battle, it seemed Zenyatta’s orbs weren’t only made for healing. They were glowing a harsh purple and Zenyatta used them as heavy projectiles; he hurled them through the air at his opponent, who was clearly struggling to dodge them all.

Even in battle, Zenyatta seemed annoyingly composed; the fact that he was now always hovering just gave him a steady air of tranquility. The orbs shot forward at his command, his arms guiding their movements to an extent, and although Genji’s first thought was how stupid it looked, he realized Zenyatta actually seemed graceful, as well. It was like his orbs were simply an extension of himself.

“What do you think?” Reyes asked suddenly. Genji watched Zenyatta’s opponent get hit in the chest by one of the orbs, but quickly regaining himself and leaping forward, his knife halting just before Zenyatta’s chest. The omnic admitted defeat.

“We could use him in our backline,” Genji said as the two took their positions and started sparring again. “He’s a great healer but his combat could use some improvements. However, anyone looking to take him out will have to put up a fight.”

Reyes smiled, which Genji found unsettling to see, and said, “I agree.” He then stepped forward towards the desk underneath the glass, holding down a small button and speaking again. “Alright guys, that’s enough. Take a breather.”

Genji chuckled at the use of words, and Reyes shot him a glance. He didn’t tell him off, though, instead just leaving the room and, moments later, reappearing down on the training field. He went to talk to Zenyatta, most likely to relay what Genji had said, but Genji himself was focused on Zenyatta’s opponent. The poor guy was gingerly poking a few nasty bruises. It seems Zenyatta’s orbs were definitely not very light.

When Genji looked back at Zenyatta, he was respectfully nodding along with Reyes’ words. Genji was actually quite comfortable up here, watching but not being seen, so of course Reyes had to ruin that.

“Genji, get down here,” he said loudly, looking at the one-way glass over his shoulder. Genji startled, a bit baffled at suddenly being called out like that, but made his way down either way. Genji offered a tiny bow as he appeared, feeling slightly embarrassed that Zenyatta now knew he’d been watching.

Reyes turned around to face him. “I want you to train with Zenyatta from now on.”

“Huh? A-Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Genji stuttered, his eyes wide.

Reyes just completely ignored his shock and turned back around towards Zenyatta, saying, “I want you two to practice often, understood?”

“I understand.” Zenyatta nodded.

Genji just remained silent as Reyes told Zenyatta to take a break, and mingle with some people around him. But when Reyes turned around to head back to the observation room, Genji followed closely behind and as soon as the door to the training room had closed behind him, he asked, “Why are you making _me_ train with him?”

“Why not?” Reyes asked calmly. Genji looked at him like he was mad.

“Have you seen him? I’ll destroy him!”

Reyes hummed nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders. “I think it’ll be fine.”

This had to be some kind of test. Making him train with someone so far below his level had to be like a lesson in patience or some other bullshit. He knew he’d have to hold back when fighting Zenyatta, judging from what he’d seen so far, but what was he supposed to gain from that?

Reyes didn’t look like he was going to say more on the subject, having gone back to looking out of the one-way glass, but Genji still had some questions. Now that he was excluded from the main mission, the least he could ask for was an update on how things were going. His regular team had still gone, after all.

However, as soon as the question had left Genji’s mouth, he knew it would’ve been better left alone. Reyes’ face twisted into his usual exhausted expression, his eyes lowering to the floor.

“They are on the way back now, but McCree has gotten injured,” he said, and Genji startled at his words.

“Injured? How badly?” he asked.

Reyes opened his mouth, but hesitated before talking. He visibly changed his mind, and said, “You can ask McCree about it himself once they’re back. For now, focus on training with Zen.”

That didn’t reassure Genji in the slightest. He scoffed. “McCree wouldn’t have gotten injured if I’d been there.”

“No, you’re right,” Reyes responded easily. “He would’ve gotten killed instead.”

Genji felt like Reyes had just punched him in the face, but he couldn’t come up with an appropriate response that didn’t include piercing him with his shuriken.

“Just train with the Rookie, will ya?” Reyes nodded at something behind Genji, and when the cyborg spun around, Zenyatta was right there, his head tilted and lights flickering. How much of the conversation had he heard?

Genji decided he couldn’t be bothered and pushed past him, “Let’s train, I guess.”

Zenyatta’s previous opponent had already left the training room when Genji entered, and he took his position across from Zenyatta. It felt weird knowing he’d have to fight him. He’d only just begun his first training, yet here he was, opposing one of the strongest Blackwatch members of all time who, on top of it, was now in a very sour mood. Genji wouldn’t want to be in Zenyatta’s shoes.

“You ready?” he asked curtly. Zenyatta nodded calmly, but his orbs were circling him very quickly.

Genji unsheathed his wakizashi just in time to start deflecting Zenyatta’s hail of orbs. They clanked heavily against his blade, shooting back in Zenyatta’s direction, but once they reached him they’d slowed down too much to harm him; they easily found their way back around his neck. So, instead of deflecting them at Zenyatta, Genji deflected them in random directions, making them go as far away from the omnic as possible.

When Zenyatta inevitably had to take a moment to recollect all of his orbs, Genji took his opportunity and dashed forward as quickly as he could, his blade pressed against Zenyatta’s throat – or at least, the wiring and metal below his faceplate. It was probably fair to call it a throat, right?

“Again,” he said as Zenyatta admitted his defeat, lowering his blade and walking back to his starting position. “Don’t give me the chance to dash forward.”

Zenyatta seemed a bit taken aback, perhaps surprised at Genji’s speed, but he nodded regardless.

They tried again, Genji deflecting and dodging Zenyatta’s orbs easily and, once again, he was able to dash forward when Zenyatta ran out of orbs.

“You need to manage your projectiles better,” Genji snarled. “Make them go faster. Get them back quicker.”

“Understood,” Zenyatta said calmly as Genji walked back once more.

They continued training like this for a while longer, but even if Genji tried to take it easy, he was able to beat Zenyatta quickly each time. Zenyatta did listen to Genji’s orders very well, though, trying his best to adjust to Genji’s speed. For a first training, he wasn’t all that bad.

When Zenyatta once again needed to take a moment to recollect all of his 9 orbs, Genji prepared to dash forward when suddenly, in a rush of purple light, everything felt like it was collapsing. His chest clenched painfully, his throat tightening, and he vaguely realized he’d fallen on his hands and knees.

His mind was exploding with millions of thoughts, from small insecurities to his biggest fears, and it felt like he couldn’t breathe. He saw his brother’s eyes, glaring at him, and his body felt searing hot, like he was on fire – blinding, blue fire that surrounded him; he couldn’t look away. He was dying.

There was only agonizing pain, until there just wasn’t.

The moment Genji remembered how to breathe, he gasped for air, blinking rapidly as his blurry vision focused on Zenyatta in front of him. The golden glow of his harmony orb reflected on his faceplate.

“Genji, are you with me?” he asked quietly. His voice was soft – more so than usual, even. Genji felt tears in his eyes and he went to wipe them away, but he realized he was shivering so much that he could barely raise his arms at all. He still felt like he was falling, even if he could feel the ground under his knees.

“W-What the f-fuck was that?” he asked weakly, hating the vulnerability in his stuttering voice.

Zenyatta was crouched in front of Genji, mirroring his position with his knees touching the training matt. “It was an orb of discord. It is quite the opposite of an orb of harmony.”

Once he felt like his head had stopped spinning, Genji looked around the room to see it was empty apart from them. Thank god. He didn’t want anyone to have seen him break down like that. He glanced at the one-way glass above them, praying that Reyes had already left for his office as well.

“Are you alright?” Zenyatta asked carefully. “Can you stand?”

At that, Genji glared at the omnic and harshly shoved him backwards. What was he thinking, using such an awful weapon?! After he’d gone easy on Zenyatta as well? He quickly got up, pretending not to feel his legs tremble underneath him.

“I’m fucking done,” he snapped, snatching his fallen wakizashi from the ground and stomping out of the training room. Zenyatta didn’t try to stop him.


	9. Does Anyone Have The Guts to Shut Me Up?

This time, Angela’s lab wasn’t comforting even with Angela sitting calmly behind her desk. She looked up when Genji entered quietly, prominent bags under her eyes, and she jumped up from her seat.

She didn’t say anything, but she didn’t have to; Genji looked past her at the medical bed in the very corner of the room, where a very pale McCree lay under the covers. Poking out on top, though, were bandages that were thick with blood. It took Genji a moment to realize what he was seeing, but then it clicked.

“He.. lost his arm..?” Genji asked quietly. McCree was awake, his eyes blankly staring up at the ceiling and showing no sign of having noticed Genji’s presence.

Angela softly took Genji’s hand and led him even farther from McCree, although Genji doubted the cowboy was listening to them at all. He was completely unresponsive, like he was alive but without a soul. Perhaps it was the anaesthetics.

“He hasn’t spoken a word since the operation,” Angela spoke, reading Genji’s mind. She looked exhausted, and was trembling slightly. “He isn’t in shock, but he’s just.. choosing not to talk.”

Genji took Angela’s hand in his own, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “What happened?”

Angela took a deep breath to steady herself. “I don’t know the details yet. At some point during the mission, his tracker went offline so a part of the team went out to look for him. When they returned more than an hour later, having found him trapped underneath half a building, his arm was completely shattered. I-I.. There was nothing I could do. I had to amputate it on the way back.”

She tilted her head downward and pulled her hand away from Genji. She was close to tears.

“The way he looked at me, Genji,” she said very quietly – Genji had to lean forward to hear her, “when I told him his arm would have to go.. I will never forget it.”

Genji was absolutely furious. This shouldn’t have happened. Genji had gone on millions on missions, but the one time he’d been forced to stay at the base this happened. McCree had lost his entire fucking arm, but that could’ve easily been prevented if he’d been by his side like usual.

He opened his mouth to relay this rant to Angela, but she looked up right then, tears now running down her cheeks. Genji swallowed his words and stepped forward, hugging her close as she trembled in his arms.

“It’s not your fault, Angela,” he said quietly. “You saved his life.”

He felt his heart shatter at every little sob that escaped Angela’s mouth, but he didn’t know what he could possibly say to make her feel better. McCree was still staring up at the ceiling in the back, not aware of what was happening around him at all, and it was an unsettling change to the usually chatty cowboy. Genji wondered how badly this would change everything.

After what must have been at least 15 minutes, Angela finally stopped shaking and she slowly removed herself from Genji’s arms. She still looked exhausted, but at least she was no longer crying, which was already a big relief. Genji wasn’t very good at consoling people.

“You’re right,” she said, wiping her eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” Genji said instantly. He offered Angela a smile, even though she wouldn’t really be able to see it while he had his visor on. She just seemed to know, though, because she smiled back before steadily making her way across the room to check on McCree.

The door to the lab opened, and Genji looked up to see Reyes enter first, followed by Zenyatta. His anger returned instantly, hidden in his chest like a timebomb getting ready to explode, and he realized he didn’t mind if it did; he needed to vent out his anger on someone other than himself anyway, right?

“Good timing,” he told Reyes, taking a step in his direction. “This is all your fault.”

Reyes didn’t look surprised that Genji was here, calmly walking past him while mumbling a simple, “Oh?” He clearly wasn’t scared of Genji’s anger, which only managed to make Genji more frustrated with him and his damn feeling of superiority.

“Don’t fucking ignore me,” he said, stepping in front of the commander before he could continue towards McCree and Angela. Now, he did seem slightly surprised, his eyebrows raised. “This only happened because you threw me off the mission.”

“Genji-“ Angela started, but Genji was already continuing.

“If I’d been there, at McCree’s side like I was supposed to be, this wouldn’t have happened. But no, you just had to keep me locked in here, watching over a fucking Rookie instead of actually doing something useful!” he ranted. Reyes still looked unimpressed and Genji felt the urge to punch the expression right off his face. “You’re the only reason he lost his arm. Don’t you see? Blackwatch _needs_ me and if you refuse to-“

“That’s enough, Genji!”

Everyone, including Genji, startled at McCree’s sudden interruption. He was now sitting upright in his bed, a firm glare on his face, and Genji realized he’d never seen his friend angry before.

“You want to know what happened?” he asked darkly. “I was flanking the enemy, when I heard a scream coming from a building. I knew my team would be alright without me for a while longer, so I decided to head in, not knowing my tracker had been deactivated. It was a kid, not older than 6. He’d been left behind by his parents.

“I managed to get the kid out, but the building collapsed on me. Next thing I knew, my arm had to be cut off,” he muttered. “Nothing could’ve prevented it, and to save that kid’s life, I would do it all again.”

Everyone was speechless, it seemed. McCree visibly calmed down, taking a deep breath and leaning back down into his pillows. Reyes and Angela shared a look.

“Do you see it now?” McCree asked quietly, looking right at Genji. The cyborg hesitated before speaking, not sure if McCree was actually talking to him specifically.

“See what?” he responded. He didn’t like the way everyone was looking at him.

McCree wore an expression so serious that Genji swore it was no longer his friend in front of him; he looked nothing like the man he’d met so long ago – the one who always chatted with him in the mess hall and defended him from annoying Recruits. He looked like a complete stranger.

“ _This_ is why you were demoted. You are selfish and arrogant, thinking you are better than all of us.” McCree never once looked away, neither did his glare falter in the slightest. “You blame everything on others. Your overconfidence is a danger to you and the people around you.”

With a laugh that was anything but amused, Genji opened his mouth to defend himself, but McCree cut him off instantly. “I-“ “You know that I’m right, too. You’re just too proud to admit it.”

Genji slowly shut his mouth again, anything he wanted to say vanishing from his brain. He was speechless, and so was everyone else. Genji wanted to feel angry at McCree, but he only felt sadness and embarrassment, and that was so, so much worse. He saw McCree as his friend, or the closest thing to it in here, at least, but hearing these words coming from him was something he’d never expected.

He was still being watched, everyone awaiting his response, but he was dying for a change of topic or he’d fall apart right there. Wordlessly, he finally stepped away from Reyes, moving to lean against Angela’s desk instead, and apparently, that was enough. With a few more shared glances, Reyes took the final few steps across the room and turned to Angela.

“Anyway.. I’ve brought Zenyatta like you’ve asked, Angela,” he said.

Angela seemed to startle back into reality, blinking her eyes a couple of times and returning her attention back to the commander. “R-Right. Thank you.”

With a nod, Angela stepped aside to give Zenyatta room, who took his place next to McCree. He talked to him for a bit, while Angela kept giving Genji nervous glances. McCree now completely ignored Genji, bitterly explaining to Zen how painful his wounds were but clearly explaining that he wasn’t in any state of shock, and asking questions about Zenyatta’s healing and how it would help. Eventually, Zenyatta casted a harmony orb, which visibly made McCree relax a lot more.

Genji realized he felt jealous, scoffing as he eyed the harmony orb. No one really paid attention to him anymore, but Zenyatta suddenly turned his head to look at him, lights flickering in curiosity. Genji felt like Zenyatta was looking right through him and he quickly looked away. It was about time for him to leave, anyway.

As quietly as possible, Genji left the lab, receiving a gentle pat on the shoulder from Angela as he passed.


	10. A Million Reasons But I Need a Million More

Even with posters, photos and old mission files stuck up to the entire roof, Genji still found it too plain to look at. It wasn’t like he hadn’t read the files yet, and the posters were of things that didn’t necessarily interest him; he’d just grabbed anything he could get his hands on during missions and brought it back. There were posters for shows, propaganda, and for local elections; some were in languages that Genji didn’t even know. Still, anything was better than the bright white.

Yet as Genji lay in bed, staring numbly at the roof, he suddenly wished he hadn’t covered the original white. Every poster, picture or file reminded him of the mission connected to it, and now that he had no more missions, it just made him long for some action. But here he was, lying numbly in bed with nothing to do but think.

It had been a week since the encounter with McCree in Angela’s lab. The reject cowboy had now been released from Angela’s care with a new, robotic arm that she created for him, and had been put on a temporary sick leave. He still visited Angela on a daily basis so she could monitor his progress and help with any complains.

Genji didn’t know all of this through McCree himself, obviously; the two actually hadn’t talked at all since their last encounter. Instead, Genji had asked Angela to keep him updated on everything, now that things were unusually tense between Genji and McCree. She came by his room sometimes to talk, but was generally very busy, and Genji couldn’t go to her lab in case McCree was there for a check-up.

Overall, Genji was just.. done. With Blackwatch; with everything. He was avoiding everyone, only heading out to get some food very early or very late in the day as to avoid any interactions, and the rest of the time was spend lying in his bed, staring at the ceiling. It was uneventful, but Genji found he didn’t have the motivation to do anything else. Without his rank – without missions – nothing mattered, and now he’d lost one of the only friends he’d had in here. He tried to tell himself he didn’t care at all, but realized it was a lie.

It was currently around 1 am, so Genji begrudgingly got up from his bed. The least he could do was force himself to do was train every night. It was the only way he could let out some of his restlessness, and training had always been a way of coping for him.

Genji rubbed his eyes and looked around for his visor. He remembered he’d thrown it on the ground earlier and, after retrieving it from underneath his bed, Genji replaced it on his face. He then opened his door the slightest bit and peeked outside, seeing Zenyatta’s door was closed. It was late, so the omnic was probably recharging in his room; he was still undergoing the Rookie training program after all (even if Genji wasn’t taking any time to help him practise at all anymore) and that program was exhausting in every way.

However, as soon as Genji opened the door all the way and stepped outside, Zenyatta’s door opened and Genji froze in place. Zenyatta appeared, looking up in surprise, and Genji muttered a “Kuso” under his breath.

“Ah, Genji!” Zenyatta exclaimed. It had been a week since they last saw each other, and the relief in the omnic’s voice was obvious. Relief for what? Genji still being around? He doubted that. “I wasn’t aware our rooms were so adjacent.”

Genji remained silent, softly closing his door behind him and starting down the hall. Zenyatta followed automatically.

“Heading to the training room, I presume?” he asked, to which Genji simply nodded.

It was weird to be with Zenyatta again after having been isolated for a week. He’d grown so used to the silence that he’d basically forgotten how to talk, and interactions felt forced now. How did someone even make small talk? How did that work? Would it be rude if Genji just turned around right now and went back to bed?

“Say, Genji, have you ever tried meditating?” Zenyatta asked suddenly, and Genji almost didn’t hear it because he was drowned in his own thoughts. He repeated the question in his mind – _have you ever tried meditating? –_ and was reminded of his days as a kid.

_II refused to make eye contact, staring up at the blue sky with tears of frustration rolling down my cheeks. I quickly wiped them on my sleeve. Why couldn’t I do it? Ani was so good at it, like he was at everything else. It was unfair! Otousan would be so disappointed.. I’d promised to master it quickly. I just wanted to make him proud, like he was of ani._

“ _Chūi suru, Genji!”_

Zenyatta waited patiently for an answer, probably unaware of Genji’s little flashback. With a sigh, the cyborg answered bitterly, “Yes. It’s not for me.”

“How so?” Zenyatta hummed. Once again, he seemed relieved, perhaps at hearing Genji talk to him.

“I’m not too good at sitting still.”

It was a relief when the training room came into sight and Genji rushed inside, glad to see it was abandoned again. He unsheathed his wakizashi and started spinning it around in his hand, excited to feel its weight again.

“Can I train with you?” Zenyatta asked gently, and Genji instantly opened his mouth to refuse but stopped himself before he could. On one hand, he felt frustrated and angry and wanted to smash things, so fighting with Zenyatta wouldn’t help him let out his anger. On the other hand, however, Zenyatta was still a Rookie in need of training, and he’d been assigned to Genji (whether he liked it or not). The last week had already gone by without any practice, and Genji felt bad for leaving Zenyatta to train on his own.

Besides, he knew that Zenyatta would stay here either way, and the idea of having him just watch Genji train made him uncomfortable. He’d rather train with him than have him watch from the side-lines.

“Of course,” Genji said with a sigh. Zenyatta visibly perked up, and Genji felt his face flush so he turned away, pretending to be busy examining his shuriken.

They took their respective positions across from each other, but before they actually started sparring, Genji hesitated before saying, very quickly, “Don’t use that.. orb of discord thing, got it?”

“Of course, I wasn’t planning to after last time,” Zenyatta responded calmly.

Genji felt embarrassed for asking, but he just wanted to make sure he wouldn’t use it. He wouldn’t be able to endure more discord right now.

Sparring went surprisingly well. Even though it was only their second training, Genji could see that Zenyatta was already improving. His orbs moved faster, hit harder, and were able to keep Genji at a distance for a longer period of time before he could dash. Zenyatta had already adapted to Genji’s moves and techniques, often predicting where he would leap to. He was a fast learner; Genji was impressed.

When the clock hit 3 am, they finally stopped training, and Genji ended the session by bowing deeply to Zenyatta.

“You’re a fast learner,” he told the omnic. “It is only our second training, yet you’ve already adapted very well. I’m impressed.”

Zenyatta’s lights shone a little bit brighter, and he mirrored Genji’s bow respectfully. “I am glad. Thank you, Genji.”

Unconsciously, Genji stretched and moved his right arm while he sheathed his weapons, and Zenyatta noticed instantly.

“Is your arm hurting again?” he asked. Genji was confused for a moment before he noticed his own movements and stopped them immediately, dropping his arm at his side. It was still healed after being treated by Zenyatta’s orb for a whole night, but he’d flexed it purely out of habit.

“Ah, n-no,” he said awkwardly, looking away. Secretly, he wanted to say it did hurt; he wouldn’t mind having the harmony orb on him again. God knew he could use a bit of harmony right now.

As if reading his mind, Zenyatta wordlessly casted a harmony orb anyway, and it seemed the feeling of it would never fail to make Genji shiver. The hollow sadness in Genji’s chest disappeared, replaced by such a beautiful warmth that it almost brought Genji to tears right then.

Knowing his face was probably bright red, Genji thanked Zenyatta with a bow, not trusting his voice to sound steady.

Together, they headed down the halls back to their rooms. Now that Zenyatta knew Genji’s own room was so close to his’, he wondered if the omnic would start dropping by more often. He hoped not. Genji’s room was the only place where he could still isolate himself from everyone.

“Genji?” Zenyatta spoke up once they’d arrived, not entering his room just yet. Genji stopped and turned to face him.

“Uh, yes?”

“I would love it if you could join me for meditation sometime,” he said calmly. Genji stayed quiet, but it seemed like Zenyatta wasn’t waiting for an immediate answer anyway. He went into his room, but not before saying, “Goodnight, Genji. I hope to see you again soon.”

When Genji plopped down onto his bed a moment later, taking off his visor and lazily throwing it on the floor, the golden glow around him made him realize he’d forgotten to return Zenyatta’s harmony orb. As he stared at it floating above him, turning slowly and the golden light pulsating lightly, he didn’t regret keeping it at all. The orb was way nicer to look at than the posters on his roof.


	11. 'Cause The Nights Don't Last

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Self Harm

Unexpectedly, Genji started hanging around Zenyatta more often as time passed. With Angela always busy, and McCree still keeping far away from him, he was actually beginning to find comfort in Zenyatta’s presence. The omnic often brought up the topic of meditation, and although Genji never had a straight answer for him, instead steering around the subject each time, he didn’t push him for one. The omnic just seemed to know Genji wasn’t ready to give it a try yet.

Genji left his room more often, only because Zenyatta had asked him to try, but he didn’t find it very reassuring. Each time he wandered the halls during the day, every person he ran into stared at him like he’d grown two heads, whispering to their friends behind his back when they thought he couldn’t hear. “That’s the one who lost his ranks..” “Moira told me she heard him cry himself to sleep.. Poor thing..” “I heard he’s suddenly close to the new Rookie. What’s up with that?” “McCree hates him now. I heard him rant about him to O'Deorain yesterday.”

Being in the mess hall wasn’t any better. Even though he was accompanied by Zenyatta, it still felt like something was missing without McCree’s enthusiastic chatter. Besides, Moira’s presence was unbearable without McCree to shut her up, and Genji felt like exploding after every conversation with her. Well, ‘conversation’ was a big word for it; Moira just teased Genji for a while until he got too angry to deal with her and stormed off. She seemed to find Genji’s suffering quite amusing.

Zenyatta’s presence was.. different, than that of others. He was calm, mature and understanding. He was also the only one that openly worried for Genji; he often asked how he was doing, and always double checked to see if his presence was welcome. In a way, it annoyed Genji because it felt like Zenyatta was always cautious around him, but he also found he didn’t mind having someone that _cared_ so much. It made him feel less hated by everyone. Honestly, Genji wasn’t sure how he’d be doing if Zenyatta wasn’t with him.

However, there were still times when Genji could barely find the strength to get out of bed. Today was a great example of that. He’d awoken in the evening after staying awake for almost an entire day, and had stayed, unmoving, for another 5 hours before realizing he needed to move or he’d probably never get up again. At that point, Zenyatta had come by his room twice, nodding on the door but leaving when receiving no answer. Genji didn’t know how to feel about Zenyatta actually coming by to check on him.

He’d eventually managed to drag himself to the training room, and had been there for hours on end, training until his entire body ached; it still didn’t feel like enough. Training wasn’t giving him the relief he needed – the relief he _craved_ – and it was incredibly frustrating. His movements were slow, sloppy, and it felt like ages since he was last able to actually use his training in an actual mission. He missed the adrenaline that came with fighting, the _fear_ that pierced into him _._ He itched to see blood on his blade again.

He was still training even as the hours ticked away fruitlessly, and Genji was now so invested in being here that he didn't want to retreat to his bedroom once more. He gripped his wakizashi so tightly that it groaned underneath the pressure of his mechanic hand, but if he loosened his grip the slightest bit he’d start to tremble and that was definitely worse. The training dummy in front of him was almost completely destroyed, the stuffing falling out through the deep cuts Genji’s weapons had left behind. With a scream, he chopped it up even more, forgetting about fancy moves or techniques; he just slashed at it angrily, craving to hurt.

It still wasn’t enough.

Out of breath, Genji dropped to his knees. His armour felt tight, like it was suffocating him, and he scratched wildly at his throat, his lungs burning from exhaustion. He ripped off his visor, but while it would normally make him feel freer, he just felt more vulnerable and weak. His blade was still in his hand and, without thinking about it, he raised it and slashed it across his still human left arm; blood poured from the cut immediately and dripped down his wakizashi. The blade slipped out of his hand and clattered loudly on the floor.

Seeing his blood stain the training mat finally fulfilled some of the craving he’d felt, and he laid down on the floor, slowly remembering how to breathe. As he stared up, he realized that he’d never known how high the roof in here was; there were beams crisscrossing each other in the distance, and the lights were up so high up that Genji wondered how they even emitted enough light to train in. There was what seemed like a shotgun stuck on one of the beams - how terrible did you have to be at fighting to manage to get it stuck in the roof?

Genji purposefully distracted himself with mindless thoughts like these and slowly regained his ability to focus. His breathing slowed, his vision became clear once again, and his frustration bubbled down to mere irritation. He was just lying on the floor now, blankly staring up at he ceiling like he usually did in his own room, trying to ignore the soft humming of his cybernetics, and the phantom pain in his limbs.

Eventually, he pushed himself up from the ground again, not knowing how much time had passed but also not wanting to check. The cut on his arm was still bleeding, but only slightly. Genji had long lost the ability to feel pain at insignificant cuts like these, yet as he stared down at it, he almost remembered what it was supposed to feel like. The cut wasn’t that bad. It was nothing Angela couldn’t fix. He’d see her in the morning.

But then, with a bit of a start, he realized Angela wasn’t even here at all. She’d gone on a confidential mission with Reyes and wouldn’t be back until Tuesday; 4 days from now. For obvious reasons, he wouldn’t go to Moira to ask her to heal it for him, so that left only one person.

Genji hesitated for a long while, but the cut still hadn’t stopped bleeding and it was starting to become annoying, so it seemed he didn’t have much of an option. It was his own fault anyway; he’d just have to suck it up and deal with the consequences.

The way to Zenyatta’s room seemed a lot shorter all of a sudden, so before Genji knew it, he was standing right in front of the omnic’s door. He raised and lowered his arm a couple of times before finally knocking on the door. Zenyatta appeared almost immediately, like he’d already known Genji was there. He wouldn’t be surprised if that were true.

“Zenyatta, I hope I didn’t disturb your meditation,” he said, bowing deeply. Zenyatta had told him a while ago that he only occasionally needed to recharge, so he simply meditated most nights.

“It’s alright, Genji. What brings you here? Are you quite alright?” Zenyatta’s lights were flickering again, and his voice sounded worried. Genji realized that his eyes were probably still red from crying, so he tried to avoid eye contact the best he could.

“Uh, well..” Genji extended his left arm. “I was wondering if you could heal this. Angela is currently on a mission, and I don’t want to be anywhere near Moira, so..”

Zenyatta silently inspected the cut for a moment, Genji’s face a bright red, and then nodded. “Of course, Genji.”

He stepped back into the room and Genji followed him, slowly closing the door behind him before taking a seat on the bed (it still looked the same as when Genji was last here; the blankets were even ruffled where Genji had sat against the wall).

Zenyatta stood in front of him, holding out his hand. It was just like the time in Angela’s lab; he was waiting patiently for Genji to offer his arm – he wouldn’t touch him without his approval. Only when Genji extended his arm again did he take it.

Softly brushing the skin to see how deep the cut was, Zenyatta hummed softly. “What happened?” he asked.

“I, uh, slipped up during training,” Genji responded instantly. He tried to sound nonchalant, but could hear the tension in his own voice. He just hoped Zenyatta wouldn’t notice.

When Genji reached up to tiredly rub his eyes with his free hand, he realized with a bit of a start that he’d left his visor in the training room, and he quickly turned his face away. No wonder Zenyatta had instantly sounded worried, Genji knew he looked like shit right now; the bags underneath his eyes were more visible without his mouth guard, and he still had dried tears stuck to his cheeks.

Zenyatta noticed – of course he did – and softly asked, “Where can I find your visor?”

It would never fail to surprise Genji how easily Zenyatta seemed to know what was on his mind. It was unsettling, in a way, but also nice. Zenyatta knew just what to ask or say, and when to say it.

“I-I left it in the training room. I should go get it,” Genji said, still not looking at Zenyatta. He was already beginning to get up, but stopped when Zenyatta lightly placed his hand on his shoulder.

“Nonsense, I will go retrieve it,” he said like it was obvious. He casted a harmony orb and Genji allowed himself to relax the slightest bit, finally able to breathe freely again.

Genji watched Zenyatta leave, floating out of the room peacefully, and the moment Genji was left alone he felt some of the previous panic return. It was easier to keep his thoughts under control now that he had the help of Zenyatta’s harmony orb, but he still felt his emotions seeping though and he allowed himself to fall sideways onto the bed. He felt only hatred towards himself for tearing up, but he didn’t have enough energy left to stop it; everything just felt empty now.

The cut on Genji’s arm slowly healed right before his eyes, mending itself in the golden glow until there was no proof of it ever having been there at all. Genji lazily wiped the healed skin and rubbed some of the dried blood off. There wasn’t even a scar or anything.

Zenyatta returned. He didn’t say anything about Genji now lying down with teary eyes, instead just handing over the visor and inspecting the healed cut. Genji replaced the visor on his face without getting up, thankful to finally have something to hide behind again, and just watched as Zenyatta sat down on the ground to meditate.

They didn’t speak for a long time. Genji just watched Zenyatta meditate, his orbs circling him like usual, and he found it quite mesmerizing. He wondered if Zenyatta minded his constant staring, but he just didn’t want to look away. Watching Zenyatta calmed him.

When Genji spoke up again after what must’ve been an hour, his voice was quiet and hoarse. “Zenyatta? Do you mind if I stay here?”

“Not at all, Genji.” Zenyatta’s response was instant. “You’re always welcome here.”

Genji felt those words drill into him, and he teared up all over again. This time, though, it wasn’t because of sadness; Genji felt cared for like he never had before.

In only a little over a whisper, Genji said, “Thank you” just before falling asleep.


	12. The Things That We Take to Make Us Feel This

It was now part of Genji’s routine to stay in Zenyatta’s room every night. He figured it was healthier than spending all of his energy training, and his thoughts tended to dwell a lot less when Zenyatta was around. It wasn’t that they talked a lot; Zenyatta just quietly meditated in the corner while Genji lounged on the bed, staring at the omnic until he fell asleep. Zenyatta never seemed to mind, and his words still rang in Genji’s head.  _‘You’re always welcome here.’_

Every time Genji thought about those words, he felt a warmth in his chest that he couldn’t explain. It was like the feeling of a harmony orb, but more natural; more emotional. This is why, whenever Genji had the time, he just repeated the phrase in his head again and again. He found it quite mesmerizing.

Whenever Zenyatta was somehow able to sense that Genji wasn’t in a great mood, he casted a harmony orb without Genji having to ask for it. It was a relief that he never had to ask; Zenyatta just seemed to know that asking for help wasn’t Genji’s strong suit.

Today, the cyborg once again found himself in Zenyatta’s room at night, but he wasn’t as tired as usual. Doing nothing all day was usually what exhausted Genji all the time (he realized how ridiculous that sounded, but it was true), but today, he’d spend all day following Zenyatta around to talk to strangers. It was an idea the omnic had after realizing how much the staring in the mess hall bothered Genji. “Once you know their names and stories, they will no longer be strangers staring at you, but friends,” Zenyatta had said. Genji had highly doubted it would help, but surprisingly, knowing the names behind the accusing faces made them seem less hostile; the staring was only curiosity now, not judgement.

Nevertheless, now that Genji had actively spend the day, he wasn’t as drowsy and lazy as usual. He bounced his foot up and down while he half-lounged on the bed, itching to fill the silence. It just felt too quiet for an active day.

“Hey, Zen?” Genji spoke eventually, not able to hold in any longer. Zenyatta lifted his head instantly and gave Genji his full attention.

“Yes, Genji?”

Now that he had Zen’s attention, he didn’t even know what to say. There weren’t any natural topics that they could talk about, and Genji was not sinking to the level of weather talk. Zen waited patiently for Genji to come up with something.

“Uh..” Genji pondered. Suddenly, something came to mind and he spit it out instantly. “Could you.. teach me how to meditate?”

Out of everything he could have said, this is what he came up with? Genji cringed internally and had already opened his mouth to say, ‘Forget I asked’ when he noticed how Zenyatta had perked up. He swallowed his words.

“I would be most delighted,” Zen said, visibly excited. Genji’s chest felt warm at that. “Sit with me, Genji.”

Genji finally pushed himself up, taking a lotus position he was still painfully familiar with. He tried not to remember the meditation sessions with Hanzo, forcefully locking the memories out of his mind. That was a different time. It was in the past.

“You said you had trouble sitting still for long periods of time?” Zen asked, to which Genji simply nodded. Zenyatta pondered that for a while. “I see. I would like you to concentrate on something, like a phrase or a sound.”

“Isn’t meditation all about clearing your mind? You know, not thinking of anything?” Genji asked, frowning at Zen. The way he’d been taught was to not think of anything at all, and let all passing thoughts leave his mind instantly.

Zen hummed softly. “Indeed, but I feel this is an easier start.”

Genji decided to take Zen’s word for it. He was the expert here, after all.

“Alright. So what should I concentrate on..?” he asked slowly.

Zen seemed to really ponder that question as well. “Try focusing on your breathing for now.”

Genji nodded. That sounded easy enough. He could do that.

The two fell into a heavy silence as they both began to meditate. It seemed to take almost no time at all for Zen to get into a meditative trance, which Genji found impressive. He wondered how many years of experience he had. Now that Genji thought about it, he knew close to nothing about Zenyatta; he only knew he was an omnic looking to fight for peace. Genji couldn’t deny that he was quite curious of his past. Usually, the people joining Blackwatch were mental fuck-ups that had no purpose to live, but Zenyatta seemed like the complete opposite. He was so calm, and wise. He seemed like the type to have his entire life sorted out. It didn’t make sense.

“You’re not focusing,” Zenyatta suddenly spoke, startling Genji from his thoughts. He didn't sound angry like Genji's old tutor, instead having a gentle tone; Zen didn't sound like a teacher, but more like just a friend giving out advice. Genji remembered he should be focusing on his breathing right now.

“R-Right,” he mumbled. “Sorry.”

This time, as the two were engulfed in silence once more, Genji tried not to get lost in his thoughts again. He focused his attention on his slow breathing. Breathe in, breathe out.

But.. his breathing sounded off. It sounded so _mechanical_ now; it no longer sounded human, it just sounded omnic. Every breath he took was followed by a hollow ticking from his voice synthesizer as the air passed it. Genji thought back to his first conversation with Angela, where she’d told him all about his new cybernetic body, and remembered that he’d been thankful for still needing to breathe like a human, but now, listening to the _fake_ sound of it, he was no longer grateful. He hated it.

“Peace, Genji,” Zenyatta spoke up again, obviously sensing Genji’s sudden discord. Genji’s eyes snapped open.

“I don’t want to listen to my breathing,” he said shortly. “What else can I focus on?”

Zenyatta didn’t ask why, which Genji was mentally grateful for. The omnic seemed to ponder Genji’s question again for a moment. His orbs stopped circling him, still hovering only inches above the floor, and Genji watched them dully while waiting for an answer.

A direct answer never came, though. Instead, Zenyatta’s orbs softly started pinging like they’d done back when Genji first stayed in Zen’s room. They had a rhythm to it, and soon enough, Genji was able to predict the sounds. He remembered how annoying they’d first been to him, but now, he was just thankful to have something soothing to focus on.

Zenyatta didn’t have to explain. Genji closed his eyes again and focused on the orbs’ song, and tried not to think of anything else. For a moment, he allowed himself to feel proud that it was actually working. He was actually sitting still and focusing for longer than a minute. The orbs were really helping.

They stayed like that for what felt like ages, but was probably no more than 5 minutes. Time just passed so slowly when you had to focus on something. Genji was doing alright, though, for the first time meditating in so long. It felt better to meditate in the presence of Zen than it had felt back with his brother and teacher.

Brother and teacher.. Things had been so different, back then. He’d followed classes on meditation just to impress his father. What was he meditating for, now? _Who_ was he meditating for?

“ _Anata niwa hontou ni shitsubou shimashita.”_

_I covered my ears with my hands, shaking my head. It made me dizzy._

“ _Kikoenaai!!” I yelled. Otousan didn’t look happy. Why was he so mad at me all the time?_

“ _kiite kure!” I could still hear him, even while covering my ears. He was making me sad. I wanted to talk to ani. He would understand me. I’m tired, ani. Where are you?_

When Genji finally snapped out of his flashback, he was trembling a little and his breathing was a lot heavier. He managed to stabilize himself, though, which was surprising. His thoughts slowly calmed down again, and he was able to refocus on the soothing song. It is when he momentarily opened his eyes that he noticed the familiar golden glow from the harmony orb above him. No wonder he was able to stabilize himself.

Zenyatta still seemed deep in meditation, but he’d obviously noticed the shift in Genji’s mood. With a smile, Genji closed his eyes again and went back to meditating. Perhaps this wasn’t so bad after all.


	13. Can You Take Me Home?

Now, instead of just being in the same room while sharing meaningless silences, the two meditated together every night. It was only a small change in routine, but it felt more comfortable; it felt like Genji was actually accomplishing something. He was learning, and it was the first time in a long while that Genji could focus on something other than constant training. It was a good change.

Zenyatta forced Genji to spend more time outside the confinement of his room (or Zen’s room, for that matter). Well, Genji said ‘forced’ out of habit; he didn’t actually mind going out more often, and went along with Zen willingly. He talked to a lot more people now, and actually managed to remember the names of other Blackwatch members; Eric, Fio, Riley. They were surprisingly kind, and Genji was starting to think that all Blackwatch members weren’t the mental fuckups that he’d believed they were. Some people were actually here to fight for peace, without being in the spotlight like Overwatch members. They were actually fighting to make the world a better place. It gave Genji a different perspective on things.

Although Genji still wasn’t talking to McCree after what had happened, and he rarely saw Angela anymore because he didn’t have missions to get injuries from, nor excessive training sessions to tire his muscles, he didn’t feel as alone anymore. In fact, he felt less alone than ever before. Zenyatta was always by his side, prompting him to meet others and talk about his mood rather than bottling it up.

Speaking of being at Zen’s side, meditating with him was going well. Genji felt that he was actually improving, able to sit still for longer than 5 minutes already, and whenever Genji was having a rough day, Zenyatta was there to help with a harmony orb. Although Genji doubted he would ever reach Zenyatta’s level of tranquillity, he was already noticing the positive effects of meditating. He was less stressed, and (most importantly) a lot less angry all the time. Whenever he still managed to get irritated at someone or something, Zen was there to remind him to breathe.

After each meditating session, which normally lasted about 10 to 15 minutes, the two wouldn’t just fall into a silence until Genji fell asleep. Instead, they talked. Although Genji was still hesitant to share much of his past, including his recent demotion to Novice, Zenyatta wasn’t so reluctant to share stories. Genji learned that Zen had spend a big part of his life in Nepal with his brothers and sisters, being a monk in the Shambali monastery. Although Genji had been a bit skeptical of that term when Zen used it, as omnics couldn’t have siblings, he quickly realized that Zen didn’t mean they were directly related; he saw every other omnic there as his family because of their close bond. Genji could respect that.

Genji had secretly expected that either Zenyatta would grow tired of him, or he’d grow tired of Zenyatta. They were just such opposites in every aspect that it seemed unlikely for them to have gotten along at all so far; it was unusual that they hadn’t instantly parted ways after their first hate-filled meeting. To be fair, the hate had been one-sided, but it was a miracle that Zenyatta hadn’t just ditched Genji instantly. It’s what Genji would’ve done. But now, as he thought back to how terribly he’d treated Zen when they first met, he felt embarrassed; he was glad he didn’t still feel such hatred towards his friend.

So here they were, still getting along in that surprising way while they finished training together.

“That’s enough for today. Let’s head back,” Genji said. Zen agreed easily, and the two started their way towards Zen’s room. It wasn’t as late as it usually was, but that just meant they’d have more time to talk after meditating today. Genji actually didn’t mind that.

On the way back, however, Zenyatta seemed to have something on his mind. It was when they passed Reyes’ office that he finally spoke.

“Genji, could I ask you something?” he asked. Genji was confused that he felt the need to ask, frowning at his friend, and Zen instantly clarified. “Something personal?”

At that, Genji faltered a little. Personal? What could he mean by that? With a nod, he told Zen to continue.

“Why are you the one training me?” Zen asked.

Genji already understood what the omnic was getting at, but he decided to play dumb for a little while longer. “What do you mean?”

With a soft hum, Zen clarified, “From what I understand, you are one of Blackwatch’s most skilled members. However, you are no longer allowed on missions and are instead stuck watching over me.”

Genji stayed silent, but Zen wasn’t done talking yet anyway. “McCree mentioned a demotion, and Moira hinted at one. What happened?”

Upon hearing these words, Genji’s anger flared up again, thinking back to the conversations with Moira and Reyes. Almost instantly, his anger vanished again when his mind brought him to the talk he’d had with McCree in the lab. _‘You are selfish and arrogant, thinking you are better than all of us. You blame everything on others. Your overconfidence is a danger to you and people around you.’_

They reached Zen’s room and Genji still hadn’t answered the question. It was still a touchy subject, Genji noticed, his chest feeling tight, like something was being pressed against it to suffocate him. He took steadying breaths and tried to imagine the songs of Zen’s orbs in his head.

It was when Genji had taken a seat on Zen’s bed and the omnic had taken his usual spot opposite him that Genji decided his friend deserved an answer. Genji hadn’t told him anything about him; about what had happened so recently to have spiked his anger.

Zenyatta seemed visibly surprised when Genji spoke.

“Commander Reyes demoted me after a mission.. went wrong,” he started, purposely looking at anything but Zen. “I was one of the highest ranking members, but was demoted all the way back to Novice. In case you’re not aware, that is only one rank above you.”

“I see. That explains your anger towards the commander,” Zenyatta confirmed.

Genji nodded. He still felt angry about what had happened, but he just couldn’t get McCree’s words out of his head. Was what he’d said the truth? Had Reyes made the right decision demoting him?

“You said the mission went wrong. Do you wish to talk about what happened?” Zen asked.

With a scoff, Genji finally looked at Zen. “What, so you can judge whether I deserved to lose my rank?”

“No, so you can get it off your chest. I feel it’s bothering you.”

Genji instantly felt embarrassed about assuming Zen would ever judge him, and his gaze softened. He would never understand how Zenyatta was able to read him so easily. He had to admit, now that he’d started, he did want to continue.

“I made a wrong call. My teammate and I went in too early, and we were overwhelmed,” Genji said, his voice getting quieter as he continued. The memory of that day was still clear as it flashed through his head. He heard Derek’s scream echoing in his head. “My teammate didn’t make it.”

There was sadness now, Genji realized. Sadness for the loss of Derek. It had been concealed by his anger before, but with his anger muted now, it was clear as day. Derek had been his friend, his teammate for ages, but he’d died because of a decision Genji had made. He remembered Derek objecting to his plan, but Genji just shutting him up because he'd been the _superior rank_. He felt gross just thinking about it.

“McCree was right. I was selfish, thinking I could disobey Reyes’ orders, and my friend died because of it,” he admitted weakly. He was trembling, and even when Zen’s harmony orb had floated across the room towards him, his mind still felt clouded and the shaking continued shamelessly.

With a frustrated noise, Genji hid his face in his hands, willing his brain to shut up. Reyes was right. McCree was right. He hadn’t deserved his rank. He got Derek killed, how could he ever be forgiven? He didn’t deserve to be alive; _he_ should’ve been the one to die on that mission. Derek shouldn’t have suffered from his mistake, but now he was dead and nothing would ever bring him back. His blood was on Genji’s hands, and it could never be washed off again.

_He didn’t make it._

_Derek is dead, Genji. Your decision cost someone’s life._

_Our dear Genji here made a mistake on his last mission._

_Your overconfidence is a danger to you and people around you._

_Do you see it now?_

_Do you see it now?_

_DO YOU SEE IT NOW?_

“DAMARE!”

Though his trembling hands, Genji could see a golden light brighter than Zen’s harmony orb, and he slowly looked up. Zenyatta was now seated next to Genji, a golden light surrounding him. It was like Genji was staring straight into the sun. He felt the irresistible urge to move closer, to feel the warmth of that light, so when Zenyatta made even the vaguest motion of reaching out, Genji almost leaped forward to embrace him.

The light seemed to reverberate in his chest, surging through his whole body like small sparks of electricity bouncing around just underneath his armour. He felt safe; he felt peace. He felt like he was finally home.

As he closed his eyes, he no longer heard the loud, judging voices in his head. They'd been replaced by a soft woman’s voice singing a beautiful tune, and it felt familiar but Genji couldn’t quite place it. He grasped at the memory, but it felt too distant, so instead, Genji just held Zen a little bit tighter.

Even as the golden light dimmed behind Genji’s closed eyelids, the sparks fading and making space for the erupting butterflies in his stomach, he allowed himself to maintain the hug for a while longer. He became hyper-aware of Zen’s hands on his back, tracing soothing patterns on his armour, and could feel his face reddening behind his visor. He suddenly wished he’d asked Angela for a full visor instead of the one just covering his nose and mouth.

Although reluctantly, Genji eventually backed out of the hug and he just stared at Zen for a while, neither breaking the silence. Zen was waiting for Genji to speak first.

“H-How did you do that?” Genji decided to ask. He wondered if his face was still red, but he suspected he already knew the answer to that.

“I channelled the power of the Iris,” Zen said simply.

Genji couldn’t help but smile at that. Zenyatta and his vague explanations.

“You looked beautiful,” he said unthinkingly, faltering right after. “I-I mean, the light! The golden light looked beautiful.”

Zenyatta chuckled at Genji’s poor attempt to save himself from his own words, tilting his head in amusement. “Thank you.” He sounded genuine.

They were still sitting very close to each other, their knees touching ever so slightly, and Genji’s face was burning so bright he feared it would catch fire. Zenyatta always seemed able to read Genji’s mind with ease, and seeing as his mind was filled with the tempting need to hug Zen again, he decided it was time for him to leave.

“I’d, uh.. promised to see Angela before she retired,” Genji lied quickly. “So I should go.”

Before waiting on Zen’s response, Genji leaped off the bed and through the door. He waited for a moment to see if Zen would follow, and when he didn’t, he quietly walked towards his room and went inside.

Once again, he’d forgotten about the harmony orb that was still floating steadily above him. The image of Zenyatta, engulfed in beautiful golden light, wouldn’t leave his head as he plopped down onto his bed, his face still burning and the butterflies in his stomach flying around madly.

With a frustrated sigh, he reached up and grabbed the harmony orb from the air, clutching it tight to his chest. Close enough.

When Genji fell asleep only minutes after, a gentle voice sang to him in his dreams.

_Akino yuuhini teru yama momiji_

_koimo usuimo kazu aru nakani_

_matsuwo irodoru kaedeya tsutawa_

_yamano fumotono susomoyou_


	14. If We All Stop Needing Love to Care About Ourselves

When Genji opened the door to Angela’s lab, he’d expected to see her busy with paperwork. Usually, before she could truly start her day, she had to file away big heaps of work that had found their way to her desk throughout the night. This time, however, Angela wasn’t there.

The lab seemed completely abandoned, the medical beds all unused; there were few patients due to the lack of dangerous missions right now. Genji figures Angela was catching up on some well-deserved sleep.

“Angela?” Genji called out either way, taking careful steps inside. He really wanted to talk to her, so it couldn’t hurt to try. “Do you have a moment to-“

He almost got a heart attack when McCree suddenly appeared right next to him.

-“talk..?”

The two stared at each other for a moment. McCree no longer smiled at Genji like he used to, but that could be because he in general didn’t smile like he used to. He didn’t seem to have a whole lot to smile about these days.

This was the first time Genji saw McCree’s mechanical arm for himself. He’d only heard of it through Angela’s explanations, but actually seeing it made it so much more real. He’d _actually_ lost his arm.

Angela had visibly made it very carefully, with attention to detail, but the fact that it was a reflective silver (similar to Genji’s armour, actually; he wondered if the same material had been used) made it very contradictory to McCree’s black outfit. It stuck out like a sore thumb.

“Don’t bother. Angela isn’t in right now,” McCree said curtly, like that hadn’t already been obvious. He had most likely noticed Genji’s staring.

“Ah, I-I see.”

There was a bit of an awkward stare down between the two, and McCree was wearing such a convincing poker face that Genji hadn’t the slightest idea what was going on inside his head. He wished he could read minds as easily as Zen read his; McCree was showing no sign of the old friendship they used to have.

After what seemed like ages, McCree offered a nod and turned to leave. He already had his hand on the door when Genji decided he couldn’t take it; he couldn’t take not knowing any longer.

“McCree, wait..”

With a sigh that made Genji very anxious, McCree turned back around. He was still expressionless.

“You were right about me,” Genji started. He forced himself to continue, even as McCree started to look skeptical. “I am arrogant and selfish and everything else, and I was just letting out my anger on your situation and you didn’t deserve that.”

The cowboy’s eyebrows were raised so high that they almost disappeared behind his hat. “You’re admitting it?”

“I am. Reyes made the right decision demoting me. I just hope you can forgive me for being too stuck-up to see it before.” Genji bowed deeply as he finished speaking, partly because he couldn’t bare to see McCree’s reaction. When he slowly moved back up, McCree still hadn’t spoken, but was staring at him with his mouth agape. Suddenly, almost like a switch had been flipped, the cowboy broke into a familiar grin.

“Would ya look at that,” he said, still grinning. Genji felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders, and he couldn’t help but smile. With a laugh, McCree patted Genji’s shoulder with his mechanical arm, and Genji flinched under the strength of it.

“Sorry ‘bout that,” McCree laughed loudly. “Don’t know my own strength quite yet.”

The two left the lab together, and McCree’s friendly banter drilled right into Genji’s heart; he’d missed it way more than he thought.

“I meet up with Angela almost daily so she can monitor my arm,” McCree spoke, his tone light. “Did you know she’s actually a bit of a gossip? I love bitching about Moira with her.”

Genji laughed. “Yeah, she likes her gossip. It’s a lovable trait, though.”

“On her it is. Moira’s kind of gossip is less lovable.”

"That's because she's always lying."

The barrack’s hallways were busy, people passing them left and right, and Genji offered friendly nods to the few people he now knew. McCree’s grin grew every time Genji greeted someone.

“How’s your arm so far?” Genji asked to divert the cowboy’s attention. “Getting used to it?”

McCree nodded slowly, extending his mechanical arm. “It’s still a bit difficult to control sometimes, but it’s better than having no arm, I guess.” Although he still sounded bitter talking about it, he smiled reassuringly. “I’ll get used to it soon enough. Angela is doing a great job helping me manage it.”

With the dozens of people in the hallways, Genji hadn’t noticed Zen approaching them until he was right in front of them. “Greetings.”

“Howdy!” McCree greeting him cheerfully. He checked his watch and gasped a little. “Darn, Reyes expected me five minutes ago! I’ll see y’all later.”

With another, better controlled pat on Genji’s shoulder, McCree left in the direction of Reyes’ office. Once he was out of sight, Zen guided Genji towards the wall as not to be in the way of anyone.

“I’m glad the two of you get along again. Better than before, even, if I’m not mistaken,” he said, nodding to where McCree had disappeared moments ago.

“R-Right, I, uh, apologized to him,” Genji said shyly.

Zen’s lights flickered a little brighter. “I’m proud of you, Genji. Admitting a fault is one of the worst hardships.”

Genji could feel his face flush; it was getting annoying how often he’d blush around Zen. With a quick bow to thank him, Genji started to head towards the mess hall, Zen hovering at his side.

Ever since Genji had hugged Zen, he was feeling more touch-starved than ever, and he was seriously craving another hug. It was embarrassing. Never in his life would he ask for it, though, and because he knew Zen could read him like an open book most of the time, he’d settled on staying completely mute about that night. He was pretending it hadn’t happened at all, and was trying his hardest to keep his mind off it. If he didn’t talk to Zen about it, he wouldn’t be able to read him, right?

The two entered the mess hall, which was very busy at this time in the morning. People were gathered around the kitchen to get their breakfast, and almost all tables were occupied. As usual, people turned to look at Genji, but it was less agonizing than before; Genji even recognized most faces. Some people gave him a smile and a nod instead of staring and whispering about him, and that seemed to dissuade the others as well. Soon enough, everyone had turned back to their food and friendly banter, and Genji could walk between the tables in peace.

Breakfast had always been the best meal of the day, in Genji’s opinion. The kitchen served a wide variety of foods, most of which didn’t taste as stale as the lunch or dinner foods, and eating in the morning had always been more satisfying. That being said, Genji was starving. He shoved a bunch of rice into a bowl, chose some fish and poured himself some coffee before following Zen to an empty table.

Genji was busy eating while Zen talked, but not even a minute had passed before Zen stopped and said, “Genji, there is something bothering you.” It wasn’t even a question, that’s how sure Zen was of himself.

Quickly hiding his face behind his coffee cup, Genji said, “There isn’t.” Ignore the problem and it would go away eventually.

Zen stayed silent after that, and Genji felt his nerves increase tenfold. Nevertheless, he kept his attention on his food, trying his best not to look bothered. Zen took Genji by surprise when he suddenly stood up.

Genji looked up instantly, fearing Zen would leave. Had he finally had enough of Genji? Had he grown tired of his stubbornness and decided to leave? He didn’t want Zen to leave him; he didn’t know what he’d do without him. Genji’s chest suddenly felt tight and he’d forgotten how to breathe.

Instead of leaving like Genji feared, however, Zen just moved to Genji’s side of the table and sat down next to him. Genji allowed himself to breathe again, taking deep, steadying breaths. He wasn’t leaving him. It was fine.

With Zen now right next to him, it was much harder to ignore him, and his heart skipped a beat when their arms brushed. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to speak up, or what he’d even say, so he stayed quiet as he just watched Zen for a while. Eventually, he went back to eating his food, which tasted a lot plainer now that his stomach was exploding with butterflies.

Genji was surprised for a second time that morning (third if you counted McCree’s jumpscare in Angela’s lab) when Zen gently took a hold of Genji’s left hand, which had been resting on his leg underneath the table. His natural first instinct was to pull away, but he quickly stopped himself and instead just watched as Zen intertwined their fingers, slow as if he was afraid to scare him off. Zen’s hand felt surprisingly warm on Genji’s skin, while his own hand felt like it was burning with the contact.

Opening his mouth, Genji tried to speak, but the words got all caught up in his throat. He quickly scanned the mess hall but, for a change, no one was staring at him at all.

Genji’s face was burning so bright that he refused to look up at Zen, staring at the table like his life depended on it. He felt like talking, but at the same time, it felt unnatural to break the silence between them. Instead, he softly squeezed Zen’s hand and hoped it said enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really appreciate you guys reading. It means the world!


	15. There's a Chance We Can Walk Away

One of Zen’s orbs managed to hit Genji while he was mid-dash, forcing him to jump back once again. He threw a volley of shuriken in Zen’s direction, who quickly called upon his orbs to shield him from them, forming as a barrier in front of him. The shuriken clattered uselessly to the ground.

Genji dodged three more orbs before trying once again to dash forward. It no longer worked to simply wait for Zen to run out of projectiles; he’d gotten a lot better at managing them, so by the time he’d fired 9 orbs, half had already returned to him. Genji could get close to him, wakizashi in hand, but with an expertly placed kick he staggered Genji long enough for him to jump out of the way. An orb collided with Genji’s hand, his wakizashi flying out of his grip and hitting the floor multiple metres away.

“Nice!” Genji called out encouragingly, sprinting and snatching his weapon back off the ground. Back to square one.

Zenyatta had gotten much better at fighting than when he’d first started out. He’d listened carefully to all of Genji’s feedback, from managing his orbs to fighting within melee range, and his process was amazing. He was an actual proper fighter now, and fit for a first mission.

Commander Reyes, who’d been watching them from the sidelines, apparently agreed. When Genji had finally managed to pin Zen down, wakizashi pointed at his chest, Reyes approached the two.

“You’ve improved greatly, Zenyatta,” he said, a genuine smile on his face. Genji sheathed his blade and took a step back, helping Zen back to his feet.

“I have a great teacher,” Zen said in response. Reyes turned to Genji, who was certain he was blushing. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately.

Reyes glanced pointlessly around the training hall for a while, watching other Blackwatch members spar, and then turned back to Zen and Genji, seemingly having made up his mind about something.

“I’m thinking of sending you on your first mission,” he told Zen. “What do you think?”

Zen looked a bit surprised, but his voice sounded a lot more certain. “That would be agreeable.”

Reyes turned to look at Genji, then, wordlessly asking for his input. Genji felt a pang of something in his stomach, but he responded honestly. “I agree. He is ready.”

Both Zenyatta and Reyes seemed happy with that answer, sharing a quick glance and smile  (on the commander's end, at least; Zen would probably smile back if he could). Reyes clapped his hands together once, still smiling, and said, “Great. I’ll expect the both of you in my office tomorrow for a briefing.”

Genji startled at his words. “What? Both of us?”

“Yes,” Reyes said like it was something obvious. “I want both of you to go on this mission.”

Just like that, Genji was stunned into silence. A mission? He was getting an actual mission again? It had been months since his demotion; a mission sounded so surreal.

Reyes continued to talk, but Genji was no longer listening to him, his voice a mere hum in the distance. It sounded like he was suddenly thrown underwater. There was a loud ringing in his head, high in pitch and never-ending, and his brain felt clouded. Breathing was starting to take more effort, more than it had from being tired after training. The ringing wouldn’t stop. It was giving him a headache.

Genji could see Reyes turn to leave, taking a few steps towards the door. The ringing was unbearable.

“I-I don’t want to,” he said quickly.

The sound of his own voice is what finally stopped the ringing in his head, and his vision started to clear up again. Reyes slowly turned back around, his face stuck into an expression of surprise.

“What?” Reyes asked uncertainly, perhaps hoping he'd misunderstood. Genji had never seen him look this confused before.

Genji took a deep, steadying breath, and averted his eyes from Reyes’ shocked expression, choosing to stare at his feet instead.

“I would.. like to stay at the base, if that’s possible,” Genji said quietly. After a beat, he added, “Please.”

The silence that followed was painful. People were still calmly continuing their sparring sessions in the other parts of the training room, laughing, clapping and shouting, completely unaware of the tension on this side of the room. Genji kept his eyes focused solely on the floor.

Reyes clearing his throat was what eventually broke the silence.

“Very well,” he said, and Genji felt extremely relieved. “Although I will ask you to think it over. Zenyatta, my office at 0600.”

After a short moment in which Genji assumed Reyes was staring at him, he saw his feet leave his sight. He was feeling a million different things at once. Never in his Blackwatch life had he declined a mission before. In fact, the last time he’d declined direct orders like this, stepping back voluntarily, was when his brother had ordered him to take over the clan with him. It was just.. the overwhelming feeling he’d felt when thinking about getting back on the field had given him little choice.

Genji finally looked up from the ground. Reyes had gone, but Zen was still next to him. While Genji refused to look straight at him, looking somewhere to his right instead, he knew that Zenyatta had his head tilted as he watched him in confusion.

“I don’t feel like meditating today, I’m sorry,” Genji said quickly, already taking steps to leave.

“Genji-“

“Goodluck at the briefing tomorrow.”

Zenyatta didn’t stop him.


	16. Someone That Hates to See Me Go

Today, the people in the mess hall seemed louder than usual, but Genji wasn’t sure if he was imagining it. Perhaps it was just because his table was quieter than usual. McCree was sitting in front of him, not speaking as he ate his food. It seemed both of them weren’t in the greatest of moods today. Genji found himself missing Zen’s presence here.

Genji hadn’t spent the night with Zen as usual; he hadn’t seen him since leaving him alone in the training room yesterday. Today, he’d went off to get breakfast with McCree instead, now that the two were back on friendly terms, and Zen wasn’t here yet, which probably meant he was still having his briefing with Reyes. Genji didn’t like to think about that.

McCree was clearly still struggling with his new arm, poking uselessly at his food while struggling to properly hold his fork, but Genji didn’t know how he could help him, so he stayed quiet and sadly watched him struggle. He could relate to the feeling of not knowing your own body, and nothing he could do would make him feel better.

“Will it ever feel normal..?” McCree asked suddenly. He didn’t clarify, but Genji didn’t need him to.

“No,” he said curtly. McCree looked up at him sadly, but Genji wasn’t done talking yet. “It will always feel different.. but different isn’t always bad. I can’t say that I feel happy with my new body, but it does feel less strange. It feels more.. like me. If that helps.”

Genji looked down at his food, forcing some of it in his mouth despite having no appetite at all anymore. McCree didn’t say anything in response, but the next time Genji looked up, he seemed slightly less tense using his mechanical arm. Genji decided to take that as a personal win.

Busy spotting familiar faces in the mess hall, Genji hadn’t even noticed Zen float up to them until he was right next to their table. Genji startled a little and hid behind his bowl of rice. He must’ve finished his briefing.

“Greetings. May I join?” the omnic asked kindly.

McCree let out a friendly laugh, “'course!”

Genji’s food was gradually looking less appetizing as time passed. He numbly shoved it around his plate, his thoughts on the briefing. What would Zen’s first mission be? Usually, it was something relatively safe; a side mission that avoided confrontation. A civilian rescue mission, perhaps? Zenyatta was a healer, after all, so taking care of scared civilians seemed right up his alley. Or it could be that Reyes just wanted him to work as trainee healer at a temporary camp – tend to member’s wounds while others fought the hard battle on the battlefield?

Genji thought back to his first mission, in which he simply had to shadow a higher ranked member of Blackwatch and learn from them. It had been scary, Genji remembered, especially because he’d never been so far from Angela’s lab before. He’d gotten used to Angela always being there to check on his still unstable body, but out there on the battlefield, he couldn’t just run to her for help if anything went wrong. He’d been terrified of his body just collapsing and failing him. It hadn’t, obviously, and aside from Genji’s constant anxiety, the mission had passed quite uneventfully.

With a sudden kick to his shin, Genji startled back to reality to see Zen had still not taken a seat. Judging from McCree’s encouraging look, the omnic was still waiting for Genji to allow him at the table.

Genji gave a quick nod, and Zen calmly sat down next to McCree. As per usual, Genji’s face was flushed red, and he pretended to be busy scanning the mess hall.

“Looking for someone?” Zenyatta asked as a way of conversation. Genji was a bit startled.

“Ah, n-no,” he stuttered. Instead of peering through the mess hall, Genji settled on hiding behind his cup of coffee.

Moira was much easier to spot than Zenyatta, being so tall and having such a bright hair colour, and when Genji saw her entering the mess hall, he groaned out loud. McCree and Zen both turned to follow his gaze and at that moment, Moira spotted them, clearly brightening up as she made her way over to them.

Grinning, she carelessly plopped down next to Zenyatta, pushing him and McCree aside to make space on the bench. Genji was still alone on his side of the table, and he wondered if he was really that unapproachable.

“You know, I just heard the _craziest_ thing,” Moira said dramatically. Genji already had a vague idea of where she was going with this.

McCree was clueless, though, and he leaned forward to look at her past Zen. “What’s that?”

“Genji _declined_ a mission.”

There it was. Genji rolled his eyes and went back to playing with his food. This time, he wasn’t going to let her get to him. He wouldn’t grant her the satisfaction of bringing out an emotional response.

“So? What’s it to you?” he asked nonchalantly. Moira’s grin only seemed to grow at his uncaring attitude, which worried him slightly.

“The great Genji Shimada refusing a mission? After having been stuck on the sidelines for so long?”

McCree and Zen just quietly watched the conversation as it continued, neither wanting to add fuel to the fire; or perhaps neither felt like defending Genji. He felt a bit sad at that thought.

“As if you’ve never passed on a mission just because you _didn’t feel like it,_ ” Genji threw back, quoting an excuse she’d giving him once after declining a mission as main healer.

Moira shook her head. “I prioritized my experiments. This is different.”

Genji calmly grabbed his visor off the table and replaced it on his face, refusing to show Moira any sign that she was getting to him at all. Finally, McCree decided to jump into the conversation as well, clearing his throat loudly.

“Moira, Genji has the right to step back from a mission too, ya know?” he piped in. “He isn’t a machine. He made the right decision staying here for once.”

Genji felt a wave of gratitude for his friend, and he gave him a nod in thanks. The cowboy offered a smile and took another bite of his toast.

“You can’t deny that it’s unexpected, though,” said Moira. “Especially because it’s our Rookie’s first mission.”

McCree looked up at Zen in surprise, quickly swallowing his toast. “You’ve got your first mission? Congrats!”

“Thank you,” Zen said simply.

Moira turned sideways on the bench, giving Zen her full attention. She had her elbow on the table, and hand resting in her hand; Genji felt the great urge to smack out her arm from underneath her. He constrained himself, though he allowed himself to imagine it in his head for a moment.

“Don’t you want your sweet Genji to be there with you?” she asked thickly, and Genji’s eyes shot up to her, glaring.

“What do you mean by that?” he asked quickly.

She turned back to smile at him. “Oh, it’s just that you two have been inseparable. I thought you hated omnics?”

Genji knew she’d been planning to get to this point in their conversation, and he really would’ve preferred she hadn’t reached it. Now that she had, though, Genji couldn’t just ignore it - not answering would make it look like she was right, but defending himself would make him seem desperate. Why were conversations so complicated?

“You thought wrong,” he said calmly, purposely not looking at Zen or McCree, who he knew were both staring at him.

“I don’t think I did,” she said proudly. “Zenyatta is the exception, isn’t he?”

With a scoff, Genji responded very quickly. “Fuck off.”

“Hit a nerve, did I?”

“No. Just piss off.”

Genji grabbed his tray and quickly stood up from the table, walking towards to kitchen to put his mostly untouched food away. It felt nice to have an excuse to leave the table, even if just for a little bit; Moira just didn’t know when to shut up and was crossing about a million lines.

Unfortunately, he’d have to go back, as he’d promised McCree they’d spend the day training together. When he sat back down across from the three, they were talking about Zen’s first mission. Good, maybe Moira would stop bothering him for a bit.

“I had my briefing this morning,” Zen was talking. “It is mostly confidential, but I am to escort some civilians away from a warzone.”

So it was the civilian mission, huh? Genji had done plenty of those back when he’d first started out at Blackwatch, so he could see why Reyes had wanted him to go along as well. His experience could possibly help Zen out a little, as someone to rely on.

“Are you nervous?” McCree asked.

“I cannot say I’m not, unfortunately.”

McCree gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder, and although it looked a bit strong, Zen didn’t flinch.

“That’s ‘aight, I remember nearly shitting myself on my first mission,” McCree said reassuringly. “It went perfectly, though.”

“I’m sure you will do just fine,” Moira added. She was surprisingly nice to Zen all the time, perhaps because they were both healers. Or maybe Moira just wanted to get on his good side so she could use him for experiments. Genji definitely expected the latter, and mentally noted to warn Zen later.

“Isn’t it a shame our dear Genji won’t be with you for your first mission?” Moira added in another attempt to bait him. Genji heaved a sigh, deciding to ignore her.

Zen didn’t ignore her, though, humming quietly and looking at Genji. “I would definitely feel saver with him there, yes.” He paused for a moment, in which Genji and Zen just looked at each other. “But it is of course Genji’s own decision.”

Genji averted his eyes again just as Moira looked at him curiously. Was Zen trying to guilt trip him? He couldn’t imagine him doing that, so was there some other motive? Or was he reading too much into it? Dammit, now he was starting to doubt his decision.

McCree picked up his tray and nudged Genji. “Still up for training?”

“Ah, yes. Of course.”


	17. Help Me Find Another Way to Find You

“When’s your mission, exactly?”

“On Monday.”

Three days. That was sooner than Genji had expected.

“I see,” he said quietly.

The two focused on their meditation again. Zen’s harmony orb was steadily floating above Genji’s shoulder, but it barely helped clear his mind. He’d been thinking about Zen’s mission nonstop, and it had been giving him anxiety all week. He couldn’t place what he was feeling, exactly, and it annoyed him.

“How are you feeling?” Genji spoke up once again. Meditation wasn’t working out for him today. “About the mission, I mean.”

Zenyatta’s orbs stopped pinging, the omnic understanding that Genji no longer felt the need to continue meditation, and Genji felt a bit guilty for always cutting their sessions short lately – shorter than they already were, what with Genji’s short attention span.

“A healthy amount of concern,” Zen answered, blue lights flickering in amusement. Amusement for what, Genji wasn’t sure.

“I’m sure you’ll manage perfectly,” he reassured him.

Zen gave him a nod. “Thank you. I appreciate it.”

There was another silence, but now that neither of them was focusing on meditating anymore, it felt a bit more awkward. They’d usually talk after meditating, but Genji was certain Zen could sense his discomfort this time around.

“Can I ask you something, Genji?” Zen eventually asked, and Genji flinched internally. Another personal question.

Hesitantly, he nodded. “Sure.”

“Why did you decide not to go?”

That was the question Genji was afraid he’d ask. He wasn’t sure if he could explain what he was feeling. After itching to go on a mission for so long after his demotion, even he himself was surprised of his decision. But the dread he felt whenever he did as much as think about going back to the battlefield – it was easier to avoid it by staying at the barracks.

It certainly made it harder that it was Zen’s first mission. Genji’s mind and thoughts just felt so conflicted. He really wanted to be there with him to make sure everything would go according to plan, but at the same time, he felt like he had to stay as far away as possible. It was confusing.

Minutes had passed and Genji still hadn’t answered Zen’s question, but when he opened his mouth to say something, _anything_ to explain himself, he found all words had left him. If only he could just make Zenyatta feel what he was feeling; perhaps the omnic had an explanation for all of his thoughts. Normally, Zen was able to read him so easily, but it seemed that this time, Genji’s thoughts were too confusing to read. So instead, the two remained in that uncomfortable silence. Zenyatta didn’t push for an answer, and Genji didn’t give one. If the air felt more tense afterwards, Genji was sure he imagined it.

But, imagined or not, it was suffocating him.

“Thank you for meditating with me,” Genji said as he stood up, bowing deeply. “I will see you tomorrow.”

Genji grabbed the harmony orb from the air gave it back to Zen, refusing to forget about it again this time around. Zenyatta hesitated a short moment before taking it from him.

Zen didn’t stop him as he left, even if it did seem like he wanted to say something. It was the first time again in a while that Genji wasn’t staying with Zen throughout the night, and he felt weirdly empty as he trudged over to his room and dropped down onto the bed.

It was a relief to take off his visor, and he let it fall onto the ground next to him. It was late, and his room was completely dark, so he couldn’t even distract himself by looking at the trash stuck to his roof; he was too exhausted to stand back up and turn on the lights.

‘ _Zenyatta is the exception, isn’t he?’_

Moira’s words had been ringing through his head more often than he’d like to admit. No matter how hard he’d tried to ban the memory, it stayed right there at the front of his mind, bothering him whenever he found himself alone. He refused to think about the fact that maybe, Moira had been right.

He couldn’t help but think back to when he was younger, spending time chucking rocks at his omnic butler with Hanzo. Their mother had always scolded them afterwards, but Genji never understood why. The omnic was their property, wasn’t it? It had been made especially for them, made to serve them, and it wasn’t like it had emotions or its own thoughts, so why couldn’t they throw rocks at it? Genji was entitled to do whatever he wanted to it.

If Genji had been there now, laying on the grass with Hanzo while ordering their omnic butler to stay still, would he have done the same thing? Would he still be damaging it with rocks, taunting his brother to hit its head and see if its lights would break?

“Yes,” Genji muttered to himself, and he realized that he was being completely honest.

If he thought back to the butler, he saw an omnic made to serve him. A piece of metal and wires that was programmed to follow their orders; a computer with no heart and soul. He would still chuck rocks at him, because why wouldn’t he? It wasn’t like the omnic would actually notice and feel pain.

But when Genji looked at Zen, he didn’t see an omnic. He saw his friend. Zenyatta was more than just wires and steel, he was certain of it. He couldn’t speak for any other omnics, but Zen had a soul; he had his own thoughts and decisions aside of any ‘programming’. Zenyatta was different.

Zenyatta was the exception.

Suddenly, Genji could place the feeling in his chest quite clearly. _Fear_. He was scared. He was absolutely petrified just thinking about Zen going on missions, into battles, for this horrible organization that pretended to _save_ people. You couldn’t save people by creating more war. Conflicts were what killed people, it didn’t _save_ them.

What if Zen got hurt? Genji cared about him, he realized, more than about others. If Zenyatta got hurt on a mission, he didn’t know what he’d do.

But with Genji there too, going on the mission alongside him, Zen would only be off worse.

‘ _McCree wouldn’t have gotten injured if I’d been there.’_

‘ _No, you’re right. He would’ve gotten killed instead.’_

Genji groaned and turned around on his bed, hiding his face in his pillow.

Three days. Three days until Zen’s mission. He still had time to think.


	18. We Want Action And Decision That We Can't Fake

With so much on his mind but so little to do, the three days seemed to be passing alarmingly fast. Before Genji knew it, it was Sunday night and he was alone in the dark mess hall, sitting at the table in the exact middle of the room, plainly staring ahead of him. It was late, at least 2 am, yet Genji wasn’t at all tired. His mind had been running wild non-stop.

The mess hall was a lot more ominous at night. With the lack of usual loud banter, sounds of pots and pans clanging in the kitchen, and heavy smells of food, this room came across way remoter; it was slightly unsettling to sit here in the dark.

Finally, after 30 minutes of waiting on his own, McCree trudged through the double doors. He spotted Genji instantly – the cyborg was the only one here, after all – and slowly (almost cautiously, Genji noticed) made his way over to the table, taking a seat across from Genji. Judging from his droopy eyes and wild hair, he’d already been in bed by the time he read Genji’s message on his personal computer.

McCree plainly stared at Genji for a moment before speaking. “Care to explain what we’re doing here in the middle of the night?” He didn’t quite manage to stifle a yawn.

“I need your help,” Genji admitted.

“My what now?” McCree asked, startled. He looked slightly skeptical as he looked Genji up and down. “What for?”

Genji had been stuck in his mind for the past three days, unable to make sense of his thoughts, and he was running out of time. Zen’s mission was tomorrow, yet Genji still hadn’t been able to clear his thoughts long enough to make up his mind. He needed someone to talk to; someone to help him make sense of what he was feeling.

“I’ve been thinking..” Genji started slowly.

“Thinking is good.”

“..about Zen’s first mission.”

McCree leaned forward on the table, letting another yawn slip. “It’s tomorrow, ain’t it? What about it?”

Now that he was sitting here with McCree, Genji didn’t know how to start. Once again, it felt like all of his words got tangled up before he could speak them. The only thing he had now figured out was that he was scared, but what was McCree supposed to do with that information? What was it, exactly, that he was scared of? Was it just fear of Zen's well-being?  But then why did his mind refuse to just let him go on this mission alongside him?

With a deep breath, Genji decided to just spit it out.

“Every time I think about his mission, I just feel fear,” he said carefully.

McCree suddenly didn’t look tired anymore; he was visibly shocked at Genji’s words, and leaned closer towards him when he asked, “Fear? You mean fear for Zenyatta’s well-being?”

With a shrug, Genji muttered, “I guess.” McCree raised both his eyebrows.

“Well there’s an easy solution for that. Go with him on the mission,” he said, mirroring Genji’s shrug.

A part of Genji hated that McCree was being so nonchalant about this; he made it seem like Genji’s problems were small, insignificant things with easy solutions. But another, more rational part realized that having McCree act so calm was actually what he needed. Genji struggled with making sense of what to do, but to McCree, it might be very obvious.

The simple ‘solution’ of going with Zenyatta, however, did not lessen his fear at all. If anything, it made him more stressed about the decision he had to make. Going with Zen would mean there was a high possibility of him fucking things up. Wait, was that it? Was that why he was so scared?

“But.. what if he gets hurt because of me?” Genji asked slowly. “Isn’t he better off without me there?”

“What? Of course not,” McCree said instantly. Genji gave him a doubtful look, so McCree sighed. “I get what this is about. The last mission you were on, things went south, and you’re scared it’ll happen again with Zenyatta.”

It suddenly made sense. That was exactly why Genji's insides twisted every time he thought about joining Zen; he wasn't all that scared of Zen getting hurt on the mission (the omnic could handle himself perfectly, after all), but he was absolutely terrified of being the one hurting him. He'd never forgive himself if he managed to fuck things up so badly once again. Not with the one person he truly cared for.

Genji nodded ever so slightly. McCree was right, and the cowboy straightened up.

“Listen, Genji. You might not have fully realized this yet, but you’ve changed. A _lot_. About three months ago, you believed you were better than anyone here. You were selfish, arrogant, and refused to see any of it. But now you’re sitting here with me, seeing me as your equal, and asking for help.”

Genji just stared at McCree, and realized he was right again. Of course he was. Genji had already noticed his change in attitude towards Zen, but had failed to see how much he’d changed in general. Now that McCree had pointed it out, it was painfully obvious.

“Go on the mission,” McCree finished softly. “You won’t be a danger to anyone. Not anymore.”

Along with McCree’s words, Genji’s chest finally felt a little lighter, and a weight was lifter off his shoulders. Genji _had_ changed a lot after his demotion; after meeting Zen. His first thought was no longer his rank or reputation, but, in this case, Zenyatta’s safety. Genji wondered if this had been Reyes’ plan all along – demote Genji to make him see that rank didn’t mean everything. Either way, Reyes’ motivation wasn’t important right now.

“So I should-“ Genji started, only for McCree to cut him off. “Just go. Zenyatta wants you there too, believe me.”

“Okay.” Genji nodded. “I will talk to Reyes in the morning.”

The relief he felt at finally making a decision was insane. He was going. No more obsessing about it; the decision had been made and Genji felt happy with his choice. Now that McCree had reassured him, he was much less convinced that he’d get Zen hurt. He could go with him and make sure things went alright, rather than screwing them up.

“Good. I’m glad,” McCree said in response to Genji’s decision.

The two shared a moment of silence. McCree was looking at Genji in a way that the cyborg had never seen before; his expression was softer, or something – Genji couldn’t quite place it.

With a smile, McCree stood up and stretched his arms. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going back to bed. And if I were you, I’d do the same. There’s an early mission waiting for you.”

The cowboy’s boots clanged loudly as he made his way to the exit. Genji quickly called out to him, “Thank you!”

With a tip of his hat, McCree disappeared around the corner.

Despite McCree’s advice, Genji stayed seated in the mess hall for a long while after that, feeling excited for the first time since his demotion. A civilian rescue mission with Zen. Genji wondered how Zenyatta would react if he showed up at the last second, and the butterflies in his stomach returned, fluttering around happily.

Eventually, Genji got up and started jogging towards his room, his heart feeling lighter than it had in a long time.


	19. I Know You’ve Had Choices to Make But I’m With You

The excitement of the previous night had all but vanished as Genji hurriedly made his way through the barracks at 7 am in the morning. Although he'd had been lucky enough to fall asleep feeling excited, when he awoke this morning he had not been quite so fortunate; there was an intense feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach.

It wasn’t dread for the mission; Genji still wanted to go with Zen after the talk with McCree last night. No, what really got Genji anxious is the realization he’d had. What if Reyes didn’t let him join the mission? Genji had made up his mind at the very last second, after all. With the mission officially starting in an hour, Genji really was cutting it short, so it wouldn’t be surprising if Reyes decided to make him stay here anyway.

When he reached Reyes’ office, he took a deep breath to collect himself and then softly knocked on the door. Genji’s nerves only multiplied the longer it took for Reyes to respond (what if he wasn’t even in his office?), but after a small while, Reyes’ clear voice rang from inside. “Come in.”

The commander was sitting behind his desk, flipping through the pages of a file. When he looked up and saw Genji, he quickly snapped it shut and shoved it to the side. “Genji, what can I do for you?”

“Please put me back on the mission.” Genji spoke rapidly, like it would help lessen his nerves to get the words out quicker.

Reyes looked a bit taken aback. He stared at Genji plainly for a moment, and the dread in Genji’s stomach was worsening every second. He’d been too late. Reyes was going to refuse him.

But right as Genji lost hope, the tiniest of smiles appeared on Reyes’ face.

“Alright,” he said.

“Alright?” Genji was almost afraid to ask him to clarify.

Reyes laughed. “Alright. You’re back on.”

At that news, Genji couldn’t help but laugh too. He did it! He was going on the mission with Zen! The excitement was back in full force, and Genji loved it. He loved feeling like this; he loved the butterflies in his stomach. He never wanted his feeling to leave again.

Reyes was surprised, but visibly happy about Genji’s enthusiasm. He was still smiling and looking oddly proud of himself – for what exactly, Genji didn’t know. Reyes wasn’t one to be proud of others, so he was most likely proud of himself. Genji didn’t care.

With a deep bow, Genji said, “Thank you!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Reyes rolled his eyes, but had not stopped smiling. “You should hurry to the hangar, the dropship is about to take off. Zenyatta will be very happy to see you.”

Genji felt his face flush, but he laughed and nodded regardless, hoping his red face wouldn’t show in the darkness of Reyes’ office. “Got it. Thanks again.”

He bowed again before turning to the door. He looked back once to see Reyes had picked up the file again, and was now writing something new in it. He wondered vaguely if it could be his personal file, but perhaps it was just a coincidence.

The hangar wasn’t too far, and Genji reached it even quicker because he’d run all the way there. He was relieved to see the dropship hadn’t taken off without him (although Genji assumed Reyes would’ve notified them of his last second decision) and people were still busy carrying supplies inside it.

Seeing everyone carry boxes upon boxes of weapons, Genji remembered that, although Zen’s part of the mission was reasonably safe, it was still a warzone; other Blackwatch members had gotten the unsafe part of the mission, and would have to put their lives on the line today. At least one person here would go out on this mission and not come back.

With a deep breath, Genji shook the gloomy thoughts off and headed for the dropship. He was just thankful that he was on the safe side of the mission this time around.

When Genji hopped into the ship, he spotted Zenyatta instantly, meditating on one of the seats, already strapped in and ready to leave. He was sitting normally, as the chairs didn’t allow space for a lotus position, so the only reason Genji knew he was meditating was because Zen’s orbs were slowly circling him in the way they always did when the omnic was deep in meditation.

Many others had already strapped in, and they had been talking excitedly before Genji stepped inside. Now, as they all looked up at him one by one, a cold silence fell.

Genji recognized none of them, and he quickly realized by looking at the emblems on their uniforms that they weren’t members of Blackwatch. They were from Overwatch; the people who fought battles in the spotlight rather than the shadows. Overwatch members often joined alongside the members of Blackwatch to, as they kindly worded it, ‘actually do all the work as heroes’. The only reason Genji didn’t strongly dislike all of them was because he knew Angela was from Overwatch – she’d been transferred here to monitor Genji, originally, but she’d requested to stay for longer. It gave him hope that not all Overwatch members were horrible people.

Genji uneasily looked round at everyone, the silence still filling the dropship, and noticed that most faces were looking at him in surprise; only few observed in obvious discomfort. Genji decided not to take it personally, because their reaction was logical – Genji had always outranked these people, and never went on global missions like these anymore. Yet now, here he was, about to go on a mission with all of them, and on the civilian rescue mission at that.

“Genji?”

With a start, Genji remembered who he was here for. Zen had noticed the sudden silence, having raised his head to look at the cause. Genji glanced round once more before heading towards his friend.

“I am glad to see you,” Zen said, lights flickering curiously. “What are you doing here?”

“Uh.. surprise?” Genji said with a shrug. Zen laughed brightly and Genji’s heart jumped in his chest. “You didn’t think I’d actually let you go alone, did you?” Genji asked playfully, to which Zen let out another, softer laugh. Genji absolutely loved the sound of his laugh.

Genji hadn’t realized the silence was still stretching on until the door to the front of the ship opened loudly and a woman appeared, visibly confused when she found everyone in dead silence; she’d already started to loudly speak orders, but hurriedly lowered her voice midway.

“PREPARE FOR TA-… Uh.. We’re ready to go,” she spoke awkwardly. When she looked at Genji, who was the only one still standing, she smiled kindly and he suddenly realized it was Fio, the kind Blackwatch member he’d met with Zen on one of their 'get out of the room more often' trips. He smiled back, then realized she couldn’t see that, and instead gave a hurried nod.

When Fio retreated to the front of the dropship, Genji sat down in the empty chair next to Zen and strapped himself in, watching as the big loading doors slowly whirred shut. It had been ages since he last been on a mission, and sitting in the dropship suddenly felt strange, but he could still feel the familiar sense of thrill that he loved so much. The unsteady shaking of the ship told him they were finally taking off, and the pressure of rising rapidly into the air caused Genji to close his eyes and heave a sigh; he was back.

When the dropship stabilized, Genji reopened his eyes and noticed that Zen was looking at him.

“Care to give me a briefing?” Genji asked him, pretending he wasn’t blushing. “I’m going in blind.”

Zenyatta let out an amused hum. “It’s a civilian rescue mission. While the main Overwatch team engages the enemy, we are to head north of the battle zone, where a small group of civilians are stuck in a building. They can’t get to the safe zone on their own, so we have to escort them there.”

The usual, then. Nothing Genji hadn’t expected. “Got it. Did Reyes give you a map of the area?”

“He did not. We will, however, be meeting with an Overwatch Captain before we head out. I assume she will fill us in with the remaining details.”

Genji nodded. “Alright, sounds good.” He wondered who Reyes had meant with the ‘Overwatch Captain’, and secretly hoped it was Captain Amari. He’d been on some missions with her as Captain before, and she was kind and highly skilled; he wouldn’t mind meeting her again. She would be a great guide for Zen’s first mission.

Luckily, the Overwatch members were no longer staring at Genji in silence; most had returned to their excited chatter, and only some faces were still plastered with shocked expressions. He was slightly annoyed that they’d been gazing at him like before, but at least he had Zen at his side and wasn’t alone in a corner.

“How are you feeling?” Genji asked Zen after a while.

“Better with you here,” came Zen’s instant response. Genji felt his cheeks heat up again and he looked away.

“W-Well, I’m glad.”

There weren’t any windows in the dropship, the inside cold and bare aside from all the seats, yet Genji could feel it when the dropship started to decent. He realized he’d never asked Zen where exactly they were going, but it didn’t really matter anyway. Their mission stayed the same regardless of location. Genji just hoped it wouldn’t be cold or rainy wherever they landed; he hadn’t thought to bring a sweater.

When the dropship landed with a BANG, everyone startled a little before unbuckling their harnesses and getting up. As the loading doors slowly slid open, Fio reappeared from the front of the ship with a shy grin on her face.

“Sorry about that,” she said, scratching her neck. “Tough landing. Happens to the best of us, right?”

From her fallen expression, it seemed she was actually expecting an answer to that.

“Anyway..” she continued, taking a moment together herself. “Goodluck out there, everyone! I’ll fly back in exactly 6 hours, but you’ll all be back to camp by then, so not to worry.”

Genji and Zen exited the dropship after everyone else, and as Genji looked up to the sky, he was slightly disappointed to see it was dark and cloudy. High chance of rain, then. All Overwatch members had already hurried along towards the temporary base a little away from the dropship’s landing spot, gathering around their leader, most likely. Genji looked back when Zen gently nudged his arm.

“I believe she’s the Captain,” Zen spoke quietly, nodding at someone. Genji followed his gaze to a small, white tent on the left of the camp, where a woman in a blue coat stood, pushing her black hair over her shoulder and swinging her rifle over her shoulder. She was scanning through the crowds, and when her eyes landed on Genji and Zen, she smiled.

Genji quickly moved towards her, Zen floating right behind him, and he greeted her. “Captain Amari, it is good to see you again.”

“It’s been a while, Genji. How have you been?” she asked kindly. Up close, Genji could see she was definitely not getting younger; she had more crinkles around her eyes, some grey streaks in her hair, and wore a tired expression.

“I have been well, all things considered,” Genji said simply. He expected her to ask him to elaborate, but instead, she just nodded knowingly.

“Reyes told me of your demotion,” she said carefully, and when she saw Genji wasn’t getting defensive or angry, she continued, “Selfish as it may be, I am glad to have another opportunity to have you on my team.”

As Genji had previously outranked basically everyone, he wasn’t much needed on team missions, so it was logical that he didn’t have to follow Captain Amari; she specialized in big collaborative missions. It had been mostly Genji’s preference to work alone, or with few others. Now, however, he was once again a lower rank, and as he looked at Amari’s friendly smile, he realized that he didn’t mind being in her team roster again. It had been a long while since his last mission under Captain Amari, yet she was still the kindest and most caring Captain Genji had ever worked with.

“I am glad, too,” Genji responded, visually much to the surprise of Captain Amari. She gaped at him for a moment before laughing and giving him a playful punch in the shoulder.

Both Zen and Genji followed Captain Amari into the small tent, which actually looked a lot bigger from the inside. There was a metal table erected in the middle, on which lied several case files and a big map of the area. The three of them were alone in the tent.

“Alright, I’ll give you some final details and then you two will head in after the others,” Captain Amari spoke, standing next to the table and leaning over it. Genji followed her example, scanning the map; the temporary base they were in was marked with a blue flag, while the main battlefield was circled in red.

“Here’s where the battle takes place,” the Captain said, unnecessarily pointing out the red circle. “You’ll want to avoid it at all costs. It’s not your fight.” She glanced at Genji, then, who pretended not to notice.

“You two will take this route to the left. We’ve patrolled it shortly and found it clear, but still be on the lookout for any enemy contact. You can never be too careful,” she spoke sternly. “The main battle serves as your distraction, but make sure to be as quick and efficient as possible.

“This building here,” she pointed to a spot at the very top of the map, above the battle zone, “is where the group of civilians is trapped. They will need your help to get out, and you will escort them back here. I will take it from there.”

Zen and Genji shared a look, and then nodded together.

“I will be on comm at all times, so if there’s anything drastic happening on your end, you can reach me,” Captain Amari finished kindly, smiling.

Genji bowed deeply. “Thank you, Captain Amari.”

“Genji, we’ve talked about this, call me Ana,” Captain Amari said, waving her hand frustratingly. “We’ve known each other for so long. It feels weird to hear you so formal, still.”

With a laugh, Genji corrected himself. “Very well, Ana.” Ana’s smile broadened, and for some reason, she cast what looked like a thankful look at Zen and added the tiniest of winks. Genji wondered if the two knew each other already.

Ana clapped her hands together and straightened up.

“Give me a sign when you’re ready, and I’ll have you dropped off near the battlefield.”


	20. We Fought The World With Hands Twice-tied

The hovercar hummed loudly as it floated down the narrow streets, and Genji looked round at the Overwatch members patrolling the area as they passed. Their blue uniforms stuck out plainly against the musty, grey buildings around them, and as the hovercar sped up, they became blurred in the corner of Genji’s vision.

Eventually, the car slowed to a halt at the corner of a street somewhere. Genji mentally visualized the map they’d seen previously, and recognized where they were; they would simply have to follow these side alleys all the way north, and should stumble into the building eventually. The battlefield was to their right.

Genji hopped off the car, holding out his hand to help Zen off as well. The omnic accepted the help with a soft ‘thank you’, and it was the quietness of his voice that made Genji remember this was still Zen’s first mission; he must be dying of nerves right about now. He opened his mouth to reassure him, but the driver of the hovercar spoke first.

“I’ll be here when you get back with the civilians,” he spoke as the car turned off, slowly gliding down towards the ground. “This car will fit 15 people, so if there are more civilians, comm it in, alright?”

“Got it,” said Genji, giving him a nod. The driver shortly wished them luck on the mission, and then Genji and Zen were off, walking down the street north.

As Ana had predicted, the streets were completely abandoned apart from the occasional stray cat or dog rushing past them. It seemed a lot of pets had been left behind during the main evacuation. Somewhere to their right, although distant, were the distinctive sounds of a battle. Genji could hear the yelling of orders and, as they headed farther north, the gunshots became louder, drumming though the empty buildings. It felt as if they reverberated in Genji’s chest, and when the enhanced hearing his visor provided picked up on a pained scream, he shuddered. He realized he hadn’t missed these sounds at all.

“Are you alright, Genji?” Zen spoke up quietly, looking worried. Leave it to him to notice Genji’s discomforts even while in the middle of his first mission.

Genji felt guilty for worrying Zen, as the omnic was probably anxious enough without his problems on top of it. Genji was the one here to offer support, to guide Zen safely through his first mission, yet he wasn’t showing to be of much help yet.

“Yes, I’m fine,” Genji said honestly, once he’d taken a deep breath to steady himself. “We should be there in a minute. Stay on your guard.”

Genji’s prediction was right; only a couple of minutes had passed before Zen pointed towards a building on the far end of the street, located in the middle of an intersection of two even smaller alleyways.

“That’s the building,” Zenyatta said, voice just above a whisper. “I saw a picture of it during the original briefing with Reyes.”

The building looked like every other – it seemed abandoned and unsteady, and would probably collapse any minute. There wasn’t any light behind the windows, nor any movement Genji could sense, yet if Zen said he recognized it the civilians had to be inside somewhere.

Genji fleetingly thought of McCree heading inside a building to save a civilian and losing his arm when it collapsed on him, but he pushed the thought to the back of his head as he strode forward, Zen sticking close to him. As he reached out to push open the front door, which hung loose on its hinges, he had his other hand on his wakizashi. Once he touched the surface of the door, Genji glanced at Zen, who gave a nod. Genji pushed forward on the door and it opened easily.

Inside, although it was dark, Genji could make out the clear signs of people having been here recently. There were empty cans of food spread all over the floor, and nearly burned up candles decorated every corner. With quiet strides, Genji walked up to the nearest candle and crouched down in front of it. The wax was still soggy, and the slightest bit of smoke rose from the wick.

Zen had moved to the kitchen, and when Genji looked back at him, standing up once again, Zen silently pointed towards the stove. A pot was stood firmly in the middle, and as Zen held out his hand just above it, he gave Genji a nod; the food inside was still warm.

There were two doors in this room, one of which was opened wide to reveal a busted, crumbling staircase, and the other shut tightly. Once again careful not to make noise, Genji headed towards it, stepping over the many empty cannisters on the way. His left hand was still on his weapon as he nudged the door with his free hand, and it opened immediately.

Was it not for Genji’s enhanced sight through his cybernetic, modified eyes, he might not have spotted the civilians at all; they were all crouched into the darkest corner of the room, huddled close together and staring up at Genji with big, fearful eyes. A quick count revealed that there were 8 of them. Genji released his wakizashi instantly and raised both his hands in the air.

“It’s okay. We’re with Overwatch. We’re here to bring you to safety,” he spoke clearly. He knew Zen was standing right behind him, just outside of the civilians’ view.

The people still cowered away from him when he tried to take a step forward, and Genji realized that all they could see were the bright, red lights from Genji’s cybernetics, and that probably wouldn’t be very reassuring. He turned towards Zen for help.

Genji stepped aside to let Zen enter the room, and once the omnic had entered, Zen beckoned for Genji to back away. The cyborg patiently took another few steps back, standing just outside of the door-opening.

Zen’s blue forehead lights were the only thing visible to the civilians, but at least those were easily recognized as those of an omnic. As Zen let his orbs glow their beautiful golden, some of the people gasped in surprise.

“Greetings,” Zen said calmly. His voice was clearly gentler and more people-oriented than Genji’s, because the civilians seemed to calm significantly just at the sound of him speaking. “My name is Zenyatta. We’ve been sent to bring you to the nearest safe zone.”

The civilians barely seemed to hear him, all mesmerized by the orbs now floating steadily above them. Slowly, the fear left their eyes and the tension left, replaced by wonder and relief, and some of the civilians got back to their feet. The rest followed shortly after.

“We can take you back via a safe route,” Zen continued, and the civilians were now actively listening to him, hanging onto his voice like it was a beacon. “If you follow us, we will keep you away from harm.”

When Zen experimentally took a few steps back out of the room, the civilians slowly followed him out. Genji quickly backed up even more, watching silently from the corner of the room, scanning the still empty streets through the windows.

“Is this everyone? Are there more people upstairs?” Zenyatta asked.

A woman in front shook her head instantly. “No, this is it.”

Zen nodded thankfully. He glanced at Genji, who smiled as he gestured for him to continue on, so Zen said, “If you would please follow us, we will bring you to the nearby safe zone.”

As Zen started to leave, the civilians following right behind him, Genji quickly stuck out his hand to stop him.

“You lead them, I will tail from the back to make sure no one falls behind,” he spoke, not liking the fearful looks the civilians were still giving him. The main reason he wanted to walk in the back was to make sure they wouldn’t get flanked by enemies, but he decided not to say that out loud. The civilians had just calmed down, so he didn’t particularly feel like scaring them again.

After letting Genji know he understood, Zen left the building with the civilians in tow. Genji trudged a little behind them as Zen led the people down the same path on which they’d come from. The civilians definitely seemed less fond of Genji, as some kept glancing behind them to see if he was still maintaining a safe distance from them, and whenever the cyborg had gotten too close, they scurried away to be closer to Zen.

Genji felt anger, first, to the people for making assumptions about him, but when he regarded Zen for a moment his anger faded completely. The woman who answered Zen’s question earlier was now walking beside the omnic, talking to him in a calm manner. A young boy, presumably the woman’s son, was grabbing at Zen’s wide pants, tugging on it while pointing to the orbs with a dreamy look in his eyes. Genji couldn’t overhear their conversation, but he smiled either way; Zen was incredibly good with people. He’d reassured all of them in about a minute, and they already trusted him so much. Genji remembered how poorly his first civilian rescue mission had gone, being unable to stop any of the people from panicking, and he felt a rush of relief that Zen was here with him.

The sounds of the battle in the distance didn’t seem to faze the civilians at all, and Genji realized that they probably couldn’t even hear it. Most of them were talking to each other, and others were still staring up at the orbs in a sort of trance as they walked along. Genji wondered if Zen was muting out the sounds of battle on purpose.

Either way, they weren’t as quiet as they’d been on the way to the building, and although the roads had proven to be abandoned, it could very well be that an enemy was stationed nearby, listening for anything out of the order.

Right as that thought crossed his mind, Genji sensed movement behind him. He turned quickly, hand on his weapon once more, just in time to see a man appear from around the corner. He was covered in a thick armour and a black, faceless mask, but he didn’t wear the light blue colours from Overwatch and that was all the information Genji needed. As the enemy turned his head towards the group, he raised his shotgun-like weapon and put a hand against his helmet, a heavily synthesized voice ringing out through the street.

“Leader, we’ve got-“

Before the man could finish his sentence, Genji was right in front of him, wakizashi piercing through his stomach. Genji pulled his blade back out and the enemy fell to the ground with a loud thud. As blood started pooling around him, Genji quickly turned away.

“Zen, we gotta move,” he said once he saw everyone had turned at the sound of the commotion. The civilians looked startled, but still a bit dazed by the harmony orbs; they calmly moved away from Genji and the enemy’s dead body.

Zenyatta looked a bit startled as well, but with a nod, he regained the civilians’ attention. Genji stepped forward, ushering them on as well. They would have to hurry the rest of the way back, now that the enemy was aware of their presence.

When Genji had taken no more than two steps, a loud BANG reverberated through the street and a sharp pain shot through Genji’s body. Once he’d regained his balance, Genji turned, unsheathed his katana, and furiously slashed it down onto the apparently still breathing man on the ground. The enemy’s weapon fell to the ground as Genji’s katana made contact with his neck, his head rolling off his shoulders.

Sheathing his bloodied katana, Genji staggered a little and Zen was suddenly at his side to steady him. There was a big, ugly wound right in Genji’s upper back and side, where his one human lung still resided, and as he pressed his hand against it, blood started seeping through his fingers. He was lucky he'd been slightly out of the shotgun's range or the damage would've been much worse, armoured or not.

“Genji-“ Zen started, but as the civilians in the background became louder in their panic, Genji quickly cut him off.

“Focus on the civilians,” he said, surprisingly managing to keep his voice unwavering. “They need to stay calm or everything is ruined. We’re almost back at the base.”

Zen seemed hesitant to listen, so Genji added, “I’ll be fine, Zen.”

“Let me help, at least,” Zen said quietly, refusing to let go of Genji.

“Alright,” Genji said quickly. They didn’t have time to argue. “Let’s move now, please.”

Zen and Genji both walked in front of the civilians now, Zen supporting Genji as they went. Although Genji tried his best not to lean on Zen too much, not wanting to worry him more, his legs became more and more tired, and couldn’t hold his weight as easily anymore. Only a few minutes had passed when Genji was leaning on Zen with his full weight, and the omnic had planted both of his feet on the ground to still support him.

It was a blessing that no other enemies appeared on the way back; the hovercar came in sight and the driver quickly helped the civilians climb on board. Zen heaved Genji onto it as well, as Genji found himself unable to pull himself up at all.

The entire drive back to the camp was spent in silence. Genji focused heavily on his breathing, trying to ignore the burning pain in his side, but he found it hard to concentrate when every intake of breath caused him severe pain. He tried to figure out if any other organs but his lung had been hit, as the wound was quite big, but he couldn’t remember which human organs he still had and which had been removed by Angela to save his life.

Ana was waiting at the base for them, like she’d told them she would, and calmly led the civilians to a big tent off the side. Meanwhile, Genji was starting to find it hard to breathe, erupting into coughing fits in rapid succession of each other. While Zen helped him off the car, he removed his visor to see the inside was covered in his own blood.

Ana reappeared from the tent once all the civilians were safely inside, and she rushed over to Zen and Genji once she’d realized Genji was wounded.

“You have to go back to the Blackwatch barracks immediately,” Ana spoke quickly. “No one here can fix internal damage like that, only Angela knows how Genji's cybernetics work.”

“The ship won’t leave for another 4 hours,” Zen said, and even through Genji’s daze, he could hear he sounded very worried; Genji had never heard him so close to panic. He wishes he could reassure him somehow, but the pain was getting worse and Genji couldn’t muster up the energy to speak.

“I will tell Fio to head back directly. She’ll just have to fly an extra time.” Ana was already ushering the two towards the dropship. As Zen carefully placed Genji on a chair, Ana disappeared to the front of the ship for a short moment before reappearing once more.

“Hang in there, Genji,” she said as she hopped back out of the ship. The doors closed in front of her, and Genji could vaguely see and feel Zen strapping him into his seat when the ship started rumbling. A clank told him his visor had slipped out of his hand and fallen onto the floor.

Zen spoke, but Genji couldn’t quite hear him, only see him move in front of him. There was a golden light surrounding him, but Genji couldn’t feel any of it; there was no warmth, no reassurance, no safe feeling.

As Genji’s eyes shut, he mentally prayed he’d be alright. He didn’t want to die.

Zen’s voice faded completely, and Genji let darkness take him.


	21. A Love That’s More

Genji woke up feeling so warm, so exhausted, that he didn’t open his eyes just yet, wanting to just fall asleep again. He was no longer in any pain, but as he laid there for a coupe of minutes, he realized he felt strangely numb, and his arms felt weighted at his sides.

Hesitantly, Genji opened his eyes and cringed at the bright lights. They disappeared when a familiar figure hovered above him.

“There you are,” Angela said, relief flooding her voice. “Glad you’re awake, Genji.”

As she moved back, Genji’s eyes got used to the brightness in the lab, and he slowly propped himself up a bit more against his pillow.

“What happened? Did I pass out?” Genji asked, his voice groggy.

Angela smiled, though with difficulty. “You sure did. Gave me a good scare when Zenyatta carried you in.” She chuckled, still sounding weirdly strained. “I thought the mission was supposed to be safe.”

“Never quite works out that way, does it?” Genji sighed, shaking his head. Knowing his visor was still off, he tried to give Angela a reassuring smile, but she wasn’t quite looking at him, instead busying herself with something on her tablet. She seemed sad, and Genji hoped he wasn’t the cause.

Genji went over Angela’s words in his head, and startled a little when he realized something.

“W-Wait, Zen carried me in?” he asked.

Angela finally looked up at him now, some sort of pride in her expression.

“He did.” She nodded. “Brought you all the way here himself and refused to leave until you were absolutely stable.” She pointed at someplace behind Genji, and when the cyborg turned, he noticed Zen’s harmony orb floating there, the golden light flooding over Genji. He hadn’t noticed it before, but now that he’d realized it was there, he could definitely feel the orb’s calming effect.

“That’s so embarrassing..” Genji muttered quietly, and Angela laughed, sounding a lot less tense this time.

“I personally find it quite endearing,” she said honestly, a broad smile on her face. At least one of them was happy about it.

Genji thought back to the mission, and how well it had gone for so long. Then he thought of his injury, and he glanced down to see there was no sign of the previous wound anywhere, which meant Angela had already finished repairing (healing?) him.

“How long have I been in here?” Genji asked, and Angela’s smile disappeared again.

“Two weeks,” she said quietly. She looked down at her feet, her tablet forgotten in her hand, and momentarily closed her eyes. “We all thought you weren’t going to make it, you know?” Her voice was so quiet that Genji had to strain to hear it. “We thought we’d lost you.”

Genji didn’t know how to respond to that, so he stayed quiet. With a sigh, Angela placed her tablet on her desk and sat down in her chair, her eyes still glued to the ground. She was shaking a little, although Genji knew she tried not to let it show.

“I’m okay, Angela,” he said softly. “You saved my life. Again.”

“I know,” she mumbled quietly, looking up to give Genji a tiny smile.

Angela picked up her tablet once more, and began typing away on the screen. Genji just silently watched her from his spot on the bed; she looked really tired, still, and her eyes were red. Had she been crying?

Neither Angela nor Genji felt the need to speak up for a long while, and when Genji did a quick scan of the lab, he saw that he wasn't the only injured one. The beds around him were filled with Overwatch agents, all with various injuries. Most were in a deep sleep, but two people were calmly whispering to each other at the far end of the lab, wearing only thin bandages and seemingly not in any pain. The Blackwatch base had probably been the closest location, so they were being treated here before returning to their base. Genji didn't mind; he was glad they were able to be treated by Angela here. She was truly a talented doctor.

Speaking of Angela, after what must've been an hour of silence between the two, she suddenly looked up from her tablet and said, “I’ve let Reyes know you’re awake, and he wants me to send you to his office.”

She sounded annoyed, so Genji carefully inquired, “You don’t want me to leave?”

“Personally, I’d like you to stay here for a couple more days so I can monitor your vital signs for a bit longer,” Angela said with a heavy sigh, her eyes once again falling to the floor. “What I’d like doesn’t matter, though. You’re cleared to go.”

Genji carefully hopped off the bed and bowed to Angela in thanks, although she was once again not looking at him directly. He wondered if he'd done something wrong, or whether it was just Angela being a bit shaken over his unexpected injury. Who knew that it would be a simple civilian mission that would almost cost Genji his life?

“Thank you, Angela,” he said as he replaced his visor (which had been laying on a tray next to Genji’s medical bed) on his face. “I will drop by daily so that you can still keep an eye on me.”

She perked up at that, and smiled at him in thanks. “I would like that.”

When Genji hurried down the hallways a moment later, he realized Zen’s orb was obediently following him, and Genji couldn’t help but smile; having the orb trail after his fast pace looked quite comical.

There was barely anyone in the hallways, the barracks as silent as could be, and Genji checked his internal clock. It was almost midnight, yet as Genji had just woken up from a two week coma, he found he wasn’t tired at all. He fastened his pace a little, excited to show Zen he was alright later in the evening.

He met with Zen sooner than expected, though; as he knocked and entered Reyes’ office, Zen was already seated in one of the chairs in front of the wooden desk. They shared a glance, and Zen visibly relaxed upon seeing him. The harmony orb noiselessly shifted through the air to reunite with its owner.

“Hi,” Genji said dryly. Zenyatta tilted his head in amusement.

“Hi.”

“Genji, good to see you,” Reyes spoke, sincerity in his voice. With a quick bow, Genji sat down in the free chair next to Zen. “Angela managed to heal you without trouble, I presume?”

“Naturally,” Genji said light-heartedly. “I’m starting to think there’s nothing she can’t fix.”

“Let’s not test that theory, shall we?” Reyes joked, and the three shared a quick laugh. The air felt light here, without tension, and Genji realized that he hadn’t felt this at peace in this office before. It was a welcoming change.

There was a silence in which everyone just looked at each other for a long moment - well, Genji was looking round, while Reyes and Zen were both sharply focused on Genji. Had they really thought he'd been done for? In Genji's mind, only minutes had passed since he got into the dropship with Zen, but for the others it had been two tense weeks; he couldn't imagine the stress they'd been in, waiting for Genji to recover (or waiting to receive news of his passing). He suddenly realized why Angela had looked so troubled. Zen and Reyes had probably bothered her for an update on Genji's health every day; Zen hadn't even allowed Angela to kick him out of his lab until he knew Genji was stable. It felt weird to know that people cared about whether he lived or died.

Reyes cleared his throat, breaking Genji's solemn train of thought, and mentioned at Zen.

“We were just going over what happened,” he said. “Care to share your side of the story?”

For a moment, Genji thought back to the last time he was here to debrief a mission, but he quickly shook the thought off. It’d been different, back then. Everything had been different.

Genji went through the story from the very start, treating it like the usual debrief and explaining every detail that he could remember. Reyes nodded along as he went, sometimes stealing a glance at Zen but otherwise keeping his full attention on Genji’s story. While talking about the civilians, Genji made sure to mention how well Zen did in calming them down; he commended Zen’s ability to reassure the people, and when Genji moved on to the next part of the story, he noticed Reyes was smiling proudly. Genji found it strange that he was directing that smile more at Genji than at Zen, but continued talking either way.

“Very well,” Reyes said once Genji had finished his debrief. He clasped his hands together. “Captain Amari was able to bring all civilians to the nearby safe zone without any difficulties.”

Genji and Zen shared a relieved look.

“Well done, both of you,” said Reyes. Genji felt like the commander was truly genuine for the first time in a while, and allowed himself to feel proud. Overall, the mission could’ve gone a lot worse.

Reyes’ expression shifted as he took a moment to think to himself, and he slowly leaned forward in his chair, his hands folded on his desk. The pride Genji felt a moment ago disappeared - the commander looked tense, all of a sudden.

“I want the both of you in my office tomorrow,” he spoke slowly, uncertainly. “There’s.. something that needs to be discussed.”

As he said that, he looked over to Zen, and Genji followed his gaze in wonder. Zen only offered a nod, an unspoken ‘I understand’. The omnic’s shoulders tensed again and Genji’s stomach dropped. Was Zen going to be transferred? Or worse, kicked out of Blackwatch? No, that couldn’t be, not after he’d done so well in this mission. But, judging from Reyes’ solemn expression and Zen’s tense posture, it couldn’t be any good news, could it?

There was nothing more to be said, and Genji couldn’t find the courage to ask questions about tomorrow’s topic, so they were dismissed. As Genji and Zen both left, they didn’t even have to discuss their destination; they were automatically walking back to Zen’s room together.

Once Genji had seated himself on Zen’s bed with a heavy sigh, Zen calmly sat down next to him, not taking his usual meditative position. He seemed deep in thought, though, and he still seemed tense. It was very unlike Zen.

“What’s on your mind?” Genji asked carefully. When Zen looked at him, his shoulders finally relaxed and he hummed softly.

“Nothing of great importance,” he said vaguely. He suddenly seemed calmer again, though, so Genji decided to accept the answer.

He kept looking at Zen, whose orbs now serenely floated down to circle not only him, but Genji as well. Genji followed them with his eyes as they moved inches away from his knees.

“What do you think Reyes meant with ‘something that needs to be discussed’?” Genji asked slowly, keeping his eyes on the orbs. From Zen’s previous nod, he figured Zen knew what topic Reyes had referred to. Perhaps they’d already talked about it in the two weeks Genji was unconscious?

However, Zen took a long time to answer, and when he did, he simply said, “I am not certain. I’m sure it is nothing to worry about.”

“You don’t have any guesses?” Genji frowned. Had he misinterpreted the nod, then? It was definitely possible. Omnic expressions were still a bit tricky to read. Yet he could've sworn..

“Making guesses is less effective than awaiting the meeting for an answer,” Zen said teasingly, and Genji laughed. Zen with his dramatic elusiveness all the time.

When Genji looked away from the orbs and back at the omnic, he smiled as he remembered the young child that had tugged at his wide pants and pointed at the magically floating orbs. Genji turned fully towards Zen.

“You were amazing,” he said quickly. Zen seemed a bit surprised, but he laughed.

“Thank you, Genji.”

“No, I’m serious,” Genji continued, shaking his head. He felt like he couldn’t compliment Zen enough. “The way you handled the civilians was incredible! I’ve never seen anything like it, especially not in someone’s first mission. They were so at peace around you!”

Genji allowed himself to feel pride when Zen seemed bashful, laughing again and waving his hand.

“You give me too much credit. The mission would’ve failed without you there.”

“I’m not so sure about that,” said Genji. He was glad that for once, he wasn’t the one flustered, but his heartrate picked up either way. “You can handle yourself quite well.”

Apparently, Genji had spoken too soon and jinxed himself, because with an amused hum, Zen reached out and grabbed Genji’s hand. Genji startled a little, and flushed when Zen squeezed softly.

“Thank you, Genji. For joining me on my first mission. For protecting me.”

Genji felt like he couldn’t breathe. They were so close, yet Genji wanted to be impossibly closer to Zen. Any kind of space between them seemed like way too much. Without thinking about it, Genji removed his visor and leaned forward, planting his lips on Zen’s faceplate. He leaped back instantly and, realizing what he’d just done, froze completely, panic rising up in his chest. Why did he do that? He’d screwed everything up, hadn’t he?

The blue lights on Zen’s faceplate were flickering wildly – was he confused? Sad? Or amused? Genji couldn’t read him at all, but he couldn’t bring himself to say anything, so he just wallowed in the panic for a moment, waiting for Zen to show any kind of outside reaction.

When Genji looked down, he noticed Zen’s orbs had frozen in mid-air, and Genji shuddered. That wasn’t a good sign, was it? They seemed a lot less calming when they were motionless. They were unsettling to look at, even, hovering in the air like they were broken.

“L-Look, I’m-“ Genji had started to mutter out an apology, but stopped when Zen’s hands cupped his face, and a moment later, they were kissing again. Genji’s chest just exploded, and the panic left instantly, replaced by such strong happiness that Genji was certain he’d never felt anything like it before. He reached out to place his hands around Zen's neck, pulling him as close as their bodies would allow.

Genji was grinning broadly when they parted again, and Zen’s lights were flickering happily.

“You’re crying,” Zen pointed out, wiping away some tears with his thumps. Genji laughed and connected their foreheads.

“I’m just really happy.”


	22. I Sure Need You to Lie

Genji and Zen had been together for the rest of the night, and also didn’t part ways the following day (except for one moment where Zen left to talk to a Rookie friend about his mission). Genji felt like he’d been walking on clouds all day, laughing easily at McCree’s jokes and not being bothered by Moira’s bickering at all. It was like last night’s kiss had provided Genji with an invisible barrier that protected him wherever he went. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt this happy.

So, when they headed towards Reyes’ office together in the evening, Genji couldn’t bring it in himself to worry. Zen, however, seemed quieter than usual, and was lost deep in his thoughts as they walked. Genji felt the urge to hold his hand, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to make their relationship public yet, so he refrained.

Zen barely seemed to have noticed they’d arrived at Reyes’ office, visibly startling when Genji knocked on the door. Reyes’ response was instant.

“Enter.”

With a hand gesture, Genji mentioned for Zen to head in first. Zen nodded in thanks and went in front.

When they both had taken their seats in the two chairs, Genji instantly felt that the atmosphere was nowhere as relaxed as it’d been yesterday; in comparison to yesterday, the office seemed completely different. With both Zen and Reyes seeming very tense, Genji gradually felt his peaceful mood vanish, and he anxiously awaited Reyes’ first words.

It took a long time, but eventually, Reyes sighed and apparently decided he couldn’t prolong the silence any longer.

“I’ve brought you here because I thought it was time to tell the truth,” Reyes spoke, looking directly at Genji; he didn’t even glance at Zen once. When Genji looked round at Zen, he realized the omnic was looking at him as well. His anxiety was increasing rapidly.

“..the truth?” Genji asked weakly, looking back and forth between Zen and Reyes. He suddenly wanted to be anywhere but here. He was no longer curious about this meeting’s topic – he just wanted to leave and stay oblivious forever.

“Zenyatta and I have both kept something from you, because we believed it to be best for you.” Reyes’ voice was uncertain and careful, like he was trying not to anger Genji. Genji found he was unable to look away from the commander.

After taking a very deep breath, Reyes admitted, “Zenyatta is not a Rookie, nor has he ever been one.”

Genji gaped at him blankly.

“W-What do you mean..?” he asked quietly. He felt his heart clench in his chest, and wanted Reyes to stop talking.

“Does the name Tekhartha ring any bells?” Reyes inquired carefully.

It took a second, but when it clicked Genji felt his mouth fall open in shock. Tekhartha? As in, Overwatch’s head _psychiatrist_ Tekhartha? Everyone in Blackwatch had heard of him, mostly through jokes, but he’d never shown himself here before. Was Reyes saying that.. Zenyatta was the well-known Tekhartha..? He’d been a psychiatrist all along?

Genji tried to form a question, but was only able to bring out some weak stutters. He was waiting – praying – for Reyes to laugh and yell, ‘Just kidding! Got you good!’ but the commander’s face remained as stoic as ever.

“I personally asked for his transfer here after your demotion,” Reyes continued seriously, clearly having seen from Genji’s expression that he’d heard of Tekhartha. “I knew you’d never accept help, and _ordering_ you to see a psychiatrist would only lead to more anger, so I decided to have Tekhartha work undercover.”

After another failed attempt, Genji found his voice again. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

“I’m afraid not.”

It felt like the world was crumbling down all over again. The happiness Genji felt that morning seemed impossibly far away now, and Genji found himself scrambling for a way to prove Reyes wrong; he wanted it to be a lie. Zen couldn’t be this.. Tekhartha figure. Genji _knew_ Zen, but had never met Tekartha. He would know if he was being tricked into seeing a psychiatrist.

“You were breaking yourself apart, Genji. I needed to do something,” Reyes told him.

Genji felt his shock shift into anger. He hadn’t looked at Zen at all yet, and he refused to do so now. He shook his head.

“N-No, no that can’t be right.” Genji searched through his memories. “Angela is the only one here who knows Tekhartha, but when she met Zen-“

“Angela was aware of the plan,” Reyes interrupted calmly. “I asked her to keep it from you for your own sake.”

His heart was crushed all over again. Even Angela had lied to his face? After all those years of having, what Genji though was, a close friendship? He thought he could trust Angela to always tell him the truth, no matter what. Had he been so wrong about her?

“No!” he said, louder now. “What about Ana? Captain Amari? She was-“

“Also aware of the plan, yes.”

Genji abruptly leaped up from his chair. He felt the overwhelming urge to slam the desk, or topple the chair, but he managed to hold himself back, settling on clenching his fists so tightly he could hear his mechanical hand groan under the pressure. Reyes leaned back in his chair, trying (but failing) not to appear startled and alert.

“So, what?” Genji had raised his voice considerably now, only just barely away from full-out yelling. “You’re telling me you’d planned this all along?!”

Reyes watched Genji vigilantly for a moment before speaking again. “As much as I’d like to say I’d planned _all_ of it, that’d be a lie. You falling in love with him wasn’t part of the plan.”

At his words, Genji felt like he was being stabbed right through the heart.

Of course Reyes knew that Genji had fallen in love with Zen, because Zen – or should he say _Tekhartha_ now? _­_ – had no doubt kept him updated on every single thing Genji had done or said. Genji remembered Zenyatta had left him briefly today, under the lie that he’d gone to talk to a Rookie about his mission, but he’d probably just darted off to Reyes to tell him about their kiss.

It suddenly made so much sense. Zen had always been able to read Genji so easily; he’d asked him questions about his well-being that no other person bothered to ask; had taken him on _exercises_ to leave his room and meet more people. Zenyatta didn’t exist; only psychiatrist Tekhartha. Everything about him – about _them_ – was fake. Genji was just another patient, another mental fuck-up that Tekhartha had to treat.

Genji felt sick. His stomach churned uneasily, and he started to pace in circles, trying to hide the sudden trembling of his limbs. He was bursting with anger and sadness, and felt like he was going to explode.

“I’m sorry for keeping this from you, Genji, but I felt it was necessary,” Reyes said softly. He sounded _sympathetic_ and Genji loathed him for it.

 _Psychiatrist Tekartha_ still hadn’t spoken a word, and Genji didn’t know whether he was happy about that or not. He wanted Zen to speak, to say Reyes was lying, but at the same time he didn’t want to hear him say anything at all. He’d lied to him for so long, and had given him false hope that there was someone who cared for him other than his higherups that pretended to care simply because they wanted Genji to be their weapon. No one ever cared about him; people only cared about his skills and his uses, and once those uses would run out, he'd no longer be necessary.

Ani had killed him because he was no longer necessary.

“But Genji,” Reyes started gently, “don’t you see the change? You’ve become happier, and less selfish. You’re no longer-“ “I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE FUCKING CHANGE.”

Reyes jumped in his seat, and Genji imagines Tekartha did the same, except he wouldn’t know because he still hadn’t given him a single glance. Genji felt the urge to hurt someone, either himself or anyone in this room, and when his arm started to move to his wakizashi automatically he knew he had to leave. It felt like he was drowning; he needed a way out.

Pulling his hand away from his weapon, Genji turned to leave. He didn’t want to hurt anyone, but he was getting close to just leaping over the desk and slitting Reyes’ throat.

“Genji-“ Zen finally spoke, no doubt starting to form some sort of useless apology. Genji turned back around as fast as lightning.

“DON’T YOU DARE TALK TO ME!” he yelled. Now that he finally looked at Zen, he saw the discomfort and worry clear in his body language, but it didn’t matter to him anymore. He no longer saw Zen, but Tekhartha, a professional shrink with Genji as patient.

Genji had to tear his eyes away from Zen again, and his anger was overtaken by the extreme sadness residing in him.

“You have no right to talk to me,” Genji mumbled quietly. He then turned and ran out of the office, Reyes’ voice falling on deaf ears.

Genji’s speed was convenient now, as he sprinted through the barrack, trying to get as much distance as possible. He passed some people on the way, giving him confused or angry glances as he hastily pushed all of them out of the way, but Genji ignored all of them, even as he thought he saw a familiar cowboy hat in the crowds.

He had no idea what to do. Usually, when feeling this angry, this _pained_ , Genji would go train until he fainted or talk to Angela, but neither seemed even remotely interesting right now, especially not the latter after hearing about Angela’s lies. What was he supposed to do now? He thought he had finally found happiness, but it was a lie. All of it. He was suffocating; his lungs and throat were burning painfully.

Genji kept running until he reached a red, metal door, and he pushed himself through it, falling onto his knees outside. His legs made contact with the muddy surface on the ground, and now that he was finally surrounded by the cool, night air, he hastily ripped off his visor and threw it aside, taking big gasps of air.

The door slammed shut behind him, and as the rain poured down on him in the darkness, surrounded by nothing but endless trees, Genji felt unbelievably alone. The water and mud seeped into his prosthetics, soaking in between his armour, and Genji’s side was starting to hurt again from the sharp, raspy breaths he was taking. He tried to stop his hyperventilating, but found he had no reason to calm down.

He wanted to scream, and punch, and kill. Everything hurt, and he just wanted it to stop. His hand rested on his wakizashi again without realizing it, and with a trembling hand, he unsheathed it. He wanted to feel any other pain than the one he was feeling right now.

Right as his hand tightened around the blade, two arms closed around him and Genji was engulfed in a familiar golden light.

“Breathe, Genji,” Zen said softly, his voice just audible over the sound of the rain hailing down on the two of them. Thankful to have something to ground him, Genji closed his eyes and focused on the feeling of harmony that Zenyatta transferred to him.

One of Zen’s hands enclosed around Genji’s wakizashi, and Genji weakly let it slip out of his grip. Zen carefully put it aside.

Slowly, Genji was able to stop his hyperventilating, his lungs thankful to get more than a few heaves in. He was still trembling, and as he looked down, shielding his face from the rain, he realized he was crying.

“Are you back with me?” Zen asked from behind him. Genji only managed a weak nod.

Zen suddenly let go of Genji, and the latter instantly felt his panic return, but Zen almost immediately reappeared in front of him. He was no longer glowing gold, but there was a harmony orb still floating above Genji as Zen softly took Genji’s left (still human) hand. Genji wanted to pull away, but couldn’t find the energy to do so.

Genji was still looking at the ground, and he refused to make eye contact with Zen, who was patiently waiting for Genji to collect himself and sort out his thoughts. Out of the corner of his eye, however, he could see Zen’s posture was once again tense, and if Genji didn’t know any better, he came across as _scared._

They sat in the pouring rain, completely silent apart from Genji’s hard breathing, for what must’ve been more than 15 minutes before Genji found the strength to speak.

“Is it true..?” was the only thing he could think to ask. His voice was barely audible over the loud rain, and he was still looking down at his muddy knees.

“Yes.”

A pain like an electric shock coursed through Genji’s chest; he’d had the slightest slimmer of hope that it had been a test from Reyes.

“So it.. was all a lie?” he asked slowly.

Zen paused for a moment before answering, and the wait was unbearable. The ticking of the rain on Genji’s helmet was so _loud_ , and his brain kept forcefully reminding him of the last time he’d sat uncomfortably in the cold rain.

“Not all,” Zen spoke eventually. He was rubbing reassuring circles on the back of Genji’s hand, and gave it a soft squeeze. “My feelings for you are true, Genji.”

Genji hadn’t even begun to consider an answer like that. He resisted the urge to look up; he’d probably burst into tears instantly.

“F-Feelings?” he inquired carefully.

A finger under his chin finally forced him to look up at Zen. The omnic looked far from his usual calm demeanour, looking way less collected and even sad. Genji imagined he looked the same. Although, the cyborg barely had time to really look at him, for Zen quickly leaned forward for a careful kiss.

Genji accepted it wholeheartedly. Zen’s faceplate was cold from all the rain, but Genji didn’t mind, melting into the kiss regardless. He hated himself for crying more, but he was just so relieved that he couldn’t stop the tears from flowing.

Removing his hand from Zen’s, Genji pulled himself closer to the omnic, and even as they broke the kiss, he stayed as close to Zen as he could, almost pulling himself into the omnic’s lap. Zen didn’t seem to mind; if Genji read him correctly, Zen was just as relieved as the cyborg himself.

“What does this mean?” Genji eventually asked, keeping his voice quiet because Zen was so close to him. The rain suddenly didn’t seem so loud anymore. “Will this change things?”

“Some changes are inevitable, yes,” Zen said, nodding. “For example, you won’t have to ‘babysit’ me anymore.”

Genji laughed, but it sounded more like a weak sob.

He thought back to everything Reyes had told him about Zen, and realized, with a bit of a start, that Zen had been _temporarily_ transferred here to care for Genji. Did that mean Zen would have to leave, now that Genji knew of his undercover work?

“What’s worrying you?”

Of course he noticed.

“Will you stay..?” Genji asked quietly.

Zen’s respond was instant. “If you want me to.”

“Please. I want to be with you. You make me happier than I’ve ever been,” Genji admitted honestly.

With a happy flickering of his blue lights, Zen hummed and pecked Genji on the lips. “Then I will stay.”

A sob escaped Genji’s lips and he gently said, “Thank you.”

The thank you wasn’t just for Zen staying here, but for everything he’d done for him; for helping him find peace again. From the next kiss, he knew that Zen understood.


	23. I Never Really Wanted More

The snow crunched loudly underneath Genji’s feet, yet he couldn’t feel its cold even as he sprinted through it. The small mountain paths were hard to navigate, and even though Genji had crossed them multiple times, he still found himself looking round for some kind of waypoint. With only trees and snow in sight, however, it wasn’t easy to remember which way he was going.

Soon enough, the trees got thicker and the path had almost fully vanished underneath the thick layer of snow. Genji slowed to a halt and, attempting to make the best of the situation, ducked behind a fallen tree trunk.

Voices could be heard in the distance, and Genji slowly crawled closer against the trunk, dimming his lights so he wouldn’t be too visible. Now that he was almost fully lying on the snow, he was actually starting to feel the cold; he suppressed a shiver and focused on the nearing voices.

“Footprints!” a voice called out. “Over here!”

There were some laughs, and the footsteps grew even nearer to Genji’s hiding place. Carefully, Genji moved away from the trunk and peeked over the top.

There was no one there. Genji scanned everywhere in front of him, between every tree, but he couldn’t see anyone. Had they passed him? Was he safe?

Suddenly, Genji was tackled to the ground, and his visor filled up with snow. He was being pressed down on the cold ground, unable to do much else than wildly wave his arms around. His green lights flickered back to life.

“Got you!”

Genji laughed and let out an exaggerated groan, raising his arms as much as he could with three kids sitting on his back.

“I surrender!” he said, wiping the snow off his visor. “Please, have mercy!”

The kids climbed off Genji, allowing him to roll onto his back. He faked exhaustion, heaving dramatically as he pressed his hand to his chest. “You guys are too fast!”

“I told you so!” one of the three boys said smartly. He was grinning proudly, and started digging up snow to throw onto Genji; the cyborg couldn’t really feel it, so he didn’t mind. He playfully started digging right back.

All three kids had bright red cheeks and equally flushed noses, and Genji realized that they should probably head back up to the village before one of them caught a cold from being out in the snow all day. Right as that thought crossed his mind, a familiar voice sounded from behind him.

“Greetings,” Zen offered a small wave, and turned to the kids. “Your mother wanted me to fetch you for dinner.”

The kids whined loudly, hiding behind Genji and clutching to him. “Can we stay a little longer please?”

“It’s okay,” Genji said, carefully untangling himself from the sad children. “We have more time to play tomorrow. It’s getting late.”

With a few more whines and begging, the kids agreed, and they jumped up to their feet to start the short trek back up the mountain.

“They are quite fond of you,” Zen said when the kids were up ahead, holding out his hand for Genji. The cyborg gratefully accepted the help and Zen pulled him up to his feet again.

Genji laughed gently. “I am glad. I’m fond of them, too.”

With the three young boys leading the way, Zen and Genji followed the trail back up the mountain. Soon enough, they reached the village entrance, where a female omnic stood awaiting them. The three kids quickly embraced her before running past her into the nearest house.

The kids’ mother smiled gently. “Zenyatta, thank you for bringing them up,” she said with a laugh. Genji’s Nepali was still quite poor, but he managed to catch ‘thank you’, and the next sentence was spoken in English (she’d probably just remembered Genji’s lack of language skills). “Will you be back to chat tomorrow? Your company was very welcome today.”

“Of course, Natasha. I would love to,” came Zen’s instant response. Natasha seemed to relax instantly, and her smile widened to clearly show her relief.

Although Natasha was an omnic, she was currently taking care of three human boys. Genji had been confused when he first saw her bonding with her sons, but Zen took the time to explain the story; the three boys had been abandoned by their parents, and Natasha found them on the brink of death in an alleyway in London. She’d taken them in, cared for them like a mother would, and fled from the anti-omnic community in England to live here in Nepal.

It took Genji longer that he liked to admit to accept their situation, but he now realized that he’d been wrong about omnics for so long. Natasha had a heart, and a soul, and she saved the lives of three young boys that day in London; her kindness was greater than that of many humans. Looking back, Genji was embarrassed for his anti-omnic past. He often still felt guilt about it, but Zen always reassured him that the guilt simply meant Genji had changed, and that he should be proud.

The conversation with Natasha had reached an end, and Genji had already turned to leave, but the gentle touch of Natasha’s hand on his arm stopped him.

“And thank you, Genji,” she said once the cyborg had turned back to her, “for playing with the boys again today. They won’t stop talking about you, you know?”

It took Genji a moment to let her words settle in – mostly because Genji hadn’t expected a thanks, but also because her newfound accent made it hard to understand her English – and he was too baffled to manage a correct response; instead, he just bowed deeply to show his gratitude. Zen gave him a fond look, but didn’t say anything.

Once Natasha had retreated into her house, Genji and Zen continued to make their way through the small town. There were still some villagers out and about, and when they noticed the two, they waved or sometimes thanked Zen for something. Genji remembered how long it had taken for him to grow used to the villagers’ kindness. He’d found it odd that everyone was always looking to be social, especially with Zenyatta; whenever Genji followed Zen around, people would stop the omnic to talk to him. While it really annoyed Genji back when he first arrived here, he had learned to love Zen’s ‘fame’, and being social on a daily basis was really helping to improve his mood.

When they reached the large stairs leading up to the Shambali Monastery, Genji took a moment to just stop and look. No matter how often he went up these stairs, the sight of the Monastery never failed to take his breath away; it seemed to grow more beautiful with every passing day. It felt like he’d never get used to it.

Zen had turned to see why Genji was no longer by his side. His lights flickered happily once he realized, and he waited a moment before extending his hand. Genji took it without hesitation and allowed Zen to playfully drag him up the stairs with him.

“In a rush, master?” Genji teased with a laugh.

Speaking of things he’d had to grow used to, calling Zen ‘master’ was definitely one of them. When Mondatta had one day asked whether Genji was Zen’s student, the cyborg had said yes without really giving it much thought. After all, Zen had taught Genji more than anyone else had. It hadn’t even crossed Genji’s mind that a student/master relationship was a common thing here in the Monastery; some of the Shambali monks had taken in a few students, to teach them about the Iris and inner peace, through meditation and knowledge.

At first, Genji thought it all sounded a bit artificial, but hadn’t Zen been the one to teach him exactly that? He’d shown him how to meditate, how to manage his anger, and how to love; Zen had shown him the path to healing.

After that realization, it suddenly felt very natural to call himself Zen’s student.

Zen didn’t need to ask if Genji wanted to retire for the day – even now that Angela had made him a full-face visor with his new, lighter armor, Zen could still read him as easily as ever. He could tell Genji was tired from being social all day.

They reached Zen’s room without running into many others; although Genji had his very own room down in the village, the two never quite got over their routine of staying in Zen’s room every night, but neither of them minded. After all, it was a routine they were both fond of. Zen’s busy schedule and fame with the villagers didn’t allow for much time alone with Genji, neither did Genji’s schedule with the group meditation lessons and village chores, so they’d vouched to at least keep spending the evenings together.

Genji took off his visor as soon as the two stepped inside Zen’s room. He tiredly stretched his arms and plopped down onto the cot placed against the wall (Zen didn’t really need it, but he’d put it there for Genji). Zen’s balcony door was open, cool wind blowing in, and Zen walked over to close it before joining Genji on the cot.

“Have you finished writing Angela’s letter?” he asked. Genji nodded quickly.

“I have. I will send it tomorrow,” he said, taking Zen’s hand again. He couldn’t help it; he’d missed holding it already. “Could you read it for me first?”

“Of course, Genji,” Zen agreed kindly.

Even though Overwatch was shut down four years ago, bringing Blackwatch down with it, Genji had managed to keep in touch with most of his friends. McCree and Angela were his most frequent contacts, and even though both were currently across the world, they wrote to one another as much as they could. It was nice knowing they were still doing well outside of Blackwatch.

Regardless of how nice it was to receive letters from friends, Genji was still a bit insecure about writing them himself; he was always scared he’d come off too strong, or would say the wrong thing. Now that he had finally managed to become more social and had learned to appreciate others’ company much more, he was terrified of ruining it again. Luckily, Zen was willing to proofread his letters and reassure him.

As for Blackwatch, Genji couldn’t quite say he was fine without it. It was mostly the way _how_ it had ended that left Genji feeling uneasy; Blackwatch had completely shut down from one day to the next, with no given reason, and without giving any of the members time to figure out what to do next. Genji was lucky that Zen had asked him to move back to Nepal, to live with his brothers and sisters in the Shambali Monastery. If it wasn’t for him, who knew where Genji would be now? Would he just be aimlessly roaming the world, looking for purpose?

Zen squeezed Genji’s hand, a gentle way to pull him back to the present, and Genji squeezed back in thanks. Blackwatch’s sudden end had definitely startled Genji more than he thought it would’ve, but no matter how much he longed for some sort of closure to that chapter in his life, he wouldn’t reach that by dwelling over it.

Genji didn’t quite manage to suppress a yawn, and he moved closer to Zen to rest his head on the omnic’s shoulder. He checked the time – 7pm. If it were up to Genji, he’d go to bed right now, but Zen was standing guard for his student’s bad sleeping habits; Genji still hadn’t adjusted to a normal schedule, and often awoke in the middle of the night with the overwhelming urge to train.

Through all of Genji’s bad habits, it was a true blessing that Zen had stuck around. Especially after Blackwatch was shut down, Genji was as emotionally unstable as could be, yet Zen stayed right by his side and took him home to Nepal. The cyborg was just so thankful that he could call Zen his lover. It was all he could ask for, and he wanted nothing more in life than to stay with Zen.

Genji was smiling, and when Zen noticed, he asked, “What is on your mind?”

As if he couldn’t read right through him.

“Just thinking about how much I love you,” Genji said, leaning up to give Zen a quick kiss. His heart fluttered happily.

Nowadays, Genji didn’t need Zen’s harmony orb nearly as much as much as he did four years ago; as long as he was with Zen, he felt happy and at peace, and his master’s presence was often enough to keep any bad thoughts away. It was like Zen was now Genji’s permanent harmony orb.

“What a coincidence,” Zen said dramatically. “I was just thinking about my love for you, as well.”

Genji snorted, and Zen held him a little closer. Genji’s heart was beating loudly in his chest, and he loved that he still felt so in love with Zen; their love was now stronger than it ever had been.

With Genji distracted by his rapidly beating heart, he almost missed the sudden change in the air. _Almost_. From one second to the next, Genji could feel that something was wrong, and he tensed instantly.

“Genji?” Zen asked carefully, his worry clear in his voice. “Are you okay?”

“Something’s here.”

He snatched his visor from the table and replaced it on his face, running several scans of the area but finding nothing nearby. Still, he could hear a humming in the distance, and it was growing louder by the second. It felt so familiar, but at the same time nothing came to mind.

Zen clearly hadn’t heard it yet, as he was just watching Genji in alarm, waiting for the cyborg to explain what was happening. Genji quickly jumped up to his feet, wasting no time in running over to the balcony. He pushed open the door and stepped outside.

He spotted it instantly – how could you not? – and Genji’s worry and fear were replaced by curiosity. In the distance, over the forest’s treetops, flew a single, very familiar dropship.

The old Overwatch ship flew closer and closer until coming to a slow halt down in the village. It landed in the only open space available – the area right in front of the Shambali stairs up to the Monastery.

Zenyatta appeared besides Genji, and he followed his student’s gaze down at the dropship.

“Guess they couldn’t stay dead, huh?” Genji said with a laugh. “Think they’re here for us?”

Down below, villagers and omnics had approached the famous ship, and slowly, the main doors opened. From up here, Genji couldn’t make out who stepped out; it looked like a big group of people, though.

Zen hummed, amused. “Making guesses is less effective-”

“Yeah, yeah,” Genji laughed, grabbing Zen’s hand and pulling him towards the door. “Let’s go meet our old friends.”

  


_I never really wanted more_   
_But with you by my side_   
_I have the chance to try again_

  


**Sequel coming soon.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you <3


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